We've been working on a deadline here and sweating every detail, painstakingly gathering reams of information from books and the web to comparison shop. We pour over intricacies of rail line schedules and flight deals, debate the best routes and sights. That's right: it's travel time!
It's fair to say the decision of when and where was accidental. The timing was in consideration of his office and responsibilities there; and the where happened when I noticed European travel was very reasonable while searching for trips to Hawaii.
Once a BIG trip was decided, we first considered a Mediterranean cruise, easiest in terms of maneuverability and comfort. The ship would slide us in and out of ports with day trips. That was all well and good until we realized we'd never actually see Italy or France or be able to wander back streets and shake hands with the good people while leisurely sipping on their world-famous cappuccinos. So that was out.
We then explored an organized tour, one of those eight hotels in twelve days deals and a chop-chop-chop schedule. Although the trip solved the travel and accommodations issue, we didn't want to face being whisked away from the Sistine Chapel for a rigid schedule. So sorry, but no.
We hadn't seriously considered planning our own trip (language barrier, inexperience, etc.) until we had dinner with Jim and Pam who recently traveled to Italy on their own, planned their schedule and even drove a rental car like Italian crazies. By the end of the evening, we were not only convinced we could do it but have a wonderful time in the process.
They've been right so far. This is where logistics intersects with an open travel plan. I'm not exactly the fbtsoyp* kind of traveler, but it's worth a shot. And he has acquiesced to my need for some pre-arrangements so the bones of the trip are in place.
It has been a blast building such a romantic trip together and working in plenty of freedom to use public transportation everywhere and travel throughout Italy by Eurail. Heck, the schedule has even allowed us to wiggle in days in London and Paris. What do you think about that?
So what if we miss a sight or two along the way, just so we gain some lingering mid-days of people-watching and savoring the time together. And for me, the best sight of all will be watching his face discover what the two of us find.
*fly by the seat of your pants
Apr 11, 2010
Apr 8, 2010
The 'It's All Too Much' blog ... and Miles
Everyone who joined us on the day of our wedding remembers the young man who spoke a toast that overflowed with earnest joyfulness and humor. Well that was Miles.
Miles lumbered into my world through absolute luck. His mom and I became great friends when I became a neighbor when Miles was about 7. In the ensuing years and interweavings of our lives, I became aware of his old soul. Have you ever met someone who doesn't look like they'd be a friend for life, but you know instantly they will be? That's Miles.
Miles lumbered into my world through absolute luck. His mom and I became great friends when I became a neighbor when Miles was about 7. In the ensuing years and interweavings of our lives, I became aware of his old soul. Have you ever met someone who doesn't look like they'd be a friend for life, but you know instantly they will be? That's Miles.Apr 4, 2010
Gnarley
Every morning the fitted sheet is off its post and tangled under and around me in a makeshift burrito. Don't make me tell you what horrible reverse-roll actions are required to extricate myself from its grip or the perplexed expression on my face at the total assault of comforter, sheet and pillows. I mean, it's good no one is there.
This has been going on for about 2 months, so frequent in fact that on days I get up and don't see the mattress quilting I count it as a banner day.
This has been going on for about 2 months, so frequent in fact that on days I get up and don't see the mattress quilting I count it as a banner day.
Mar 29, 2010
Win the Battle, Lose the War
So in mulling over the deep divisions within the political parties, and how self serving and unwilling everyone is to compromise and consider each other's opinions, a FB friend Carole had this on her page. Not sure who wrote it but it is appropro:
"The tragedy of the polarization in politics of this era is, via Paul's example of the body, the hand has judged the brain because it cannot move, and the brain has judged the hand because it cannot think. Thus the hand moves without wisdom, the brain cannot act, and the whole body loses."
"The tragedy of the polarization in politics of this era is, via Paul's example of the body, the hand has judged the brain because it cannot move, and the brain has judged the hand because it cannot think. Thus the hand moves without wisdom, the brain cannot act, and the whole body loses."
Glimpses of Humanity
It was strange waking up this morning thinking of the Allegory of the Cave. What is it in our natures to weigh-in on every issue from fancy cars and a neighbor's garden to charter schools, dog breeds and the unionization of coal miners in other countries? We have become shockingly self-important.
And with that in mind, I know you'll want to know everything about me. (HA!) I sometimes let the browser blurbs define what is newsworthy. Swear. I wouldn't be caught dead reading a rag at the checkout but I glance at aol.com every morning and read some of those ridiculous articles about whether your star is in the right house and if you are wearing clothes that flatter your body style. What is up with that?!
And with that in mind, I know you'll want to know everything about me. (HA!) I sometimes let the browser blurbs define what is newsworthy. Swear. I wouldn't be caught dead reading a rag at the checkout but I glance at aol.com every morning and read some of those ridiculous articles about whether your star is in the right house and if you are wearing clothes that flatter your body style. What is up with that?!
Mar 24, 2010
Dreams of Old Stucco
Tradition. There's a plan afoot for a honeymoon. Can we stop the momentum even if we wanted to? We lay dreaming of sights and smells of somewhere big and faraway. Day in, day out, it is we who scheme with maps and websites of images that lure us in. We exclaim yes, yes, now is the time to let the wind hit our face as we settle into the boat and float gently along to witness the magic of life making its way in a place we haven't been.
History. What will it feel like to run our hands along the stone and lichen and moss, knowing it will be an indelible moment but only one of thousands of people who for the last eight hundred years have done the same thing? Will it realize how profound a moment it is?
Do you think hairline cracks forms in our sense of the world whenever we take ourselves to somewhere magnificent and real? Is it like being in space, where we can see our little blue marble in a whole new way, as vast and immeasurably interesting? It's hard to imagine but thrilling to know that these lovely day-dreams can come true.
History. What will it feel like to run our hands along the stone and lichen and moss, knowing it will be an indelible moment but only one of thousands of people who for the last eight hundred years have done the same thing? Will it realize how profound a moment it is?
Do you think hairline cracks forms in our sense of the world whenever we take ourselves to somewhere magnificent and real? Is it like being in space, where we can see our little blue marble in a whole new way, as vast and immeasurably interesting? It's hard to imagine but thrilling to know that these lovely day-dreams can come true.
Lived-In and Loved
There are so many firsts in my life these days, it's hard to count them up. They shout life's upside with abundance and hope. I don't know why I keep expecting things to settle down: first I thought it would be after the holidays, then after New Years and the February wedding, or in March after Aiyana's birthday or David's. But life's excitement just bubbles up like a spring, easy to share a cup and pass on love and appreciation even in these troubling times.
There have been moments in the last decade when it was really important that I change course and focus inwardly on the family. I wouldn't have seen the signs myself but somehow the way was paved for me just at the right time. Some of my friends think it was luck (or bad luck) but I recognize God active in my life and Him giving me a little nudge in the right direction. I don't believe in luck.
There have been moments in the last decade when it was really important that I change course and focus inwardly on the family. I wouldn't have seen the signs myself but somehow the way was paved for me just at the right time. Some of my friends think it was luck (or bad luck) but I recognize God active in my life and Him giving me a little nudge in the right direction. I don't believe in luck.
Mar 23, 2010
Poppys
Don't you love it when you've got a long drive and something unexpected happens that makes it an adventure? Me, too. Something unexpected happened on my trip down south last week. I would have gone the old dreary way, down 5, over 156 to 101 south and so-on, but my son gave me his super secret shortcut past all the state prisons and mental hospitals. Let's assume he wasn't dropping a hint.
So I was busy counting off the miles lest I miss a turn on this two lane road, and the hills just exploded in glorious, rich and green new grass from the rain. I could hardly keep my eyes on the road they were so beautiful, each turn better than the last as it slowly wound itself toward the coast. There were houses dotted here and there with white picket fences owned by whom I thought must be the luckiest of people. Sheep and horses grazed with their babies standing nearby. I'll tell you, California in the spring is like nowhere else on earth.
So I was busy counting off the miles lest I miss a turn on this two lane road, and the hills just exploded in glorious, rich and green new grass from the rain. I could hardly keep my eyes on the road they were so beautiful, each turn better than the last as it slowly wound itself toward the coast. There were houses dotted here and there with white picket fences owned by whom I thought must be the luckiest of people. Sheep and horses grazed with their babies standing nearby. I'll tell you, California in the spring is like nowhere else on earth.
Mar 18, 2010
No Mo' Manners
I just don't understand all the weird and nasty comments that people leave on news articles and other public spaces like Facebook. Do you think it's just the yin and yang of the internet, where every voice has a sounding board even when it's ludicrous?
The internet has stripped away our manners. They've given us total access and celebrity status but do we really need to exist under the same scrutiny? Take for instance today's article on a 1960s gold medal winner's grandson being tragically killed. People jumped all over it, saying some pretty disparaging comments about the writer's style and format. They sure are emboldened tucked away with their hidden little laptops, saying things they would never say to the person's face. It royally pissed me off.
And so today I am officially doubly grateful for this little blog that quietly exists out of the limelight. I appreciate being stowed away in Anonymousland that is known only by people that know where to look. Those that want to read the funnies and foibles of an upbeat, unemployed, formerly single California girl who lives mid-sentence are probably the ones who star in the show. My life is wonderful but it is also what it is. People who come here already understand that.
Giving John Q Public the means to publish an opinion about absolutely everything is ridiculous. I long for the good old days of mystery, when you suspected someone might be stupid but they didn't have a chance to prove it.
For a dyed-in-the-wool, behind-the-scenes, get 'er done kind of energy bullet, this lifestyle change seemed kind of threatening at first. But now that I'm a celebrity and all, I'm thinking BIG. Maybe I'll aspire to be one of those astonishing 90 year olds who humbly lives in a one bedroom bungalow in Florida with too many cats and who bequeaths a stock portfolio totalling $10M to the cub scouts when I die.
Hey, it can happen!
The internet has stripped away our manners. They've given us total access and celebrity status but do we really need to exist under the same scrutiny? Take for instance today's article on a 1960s gold medal winner's grandson being tragically killed. People jumped all over it, saying some pretty disparaging comments about the writer's style and format. They sure are emboldened tucked away with their hidden little laptops, saying things they would never say to the person's face. It royally pissed me off.
And so today I am officially doubly grateful for this little blog that quietly exists out of the limelight. I appreciate being stowed away in Anonymousland that is known only by people that know where to look. Those that want to read the funnies and foibles of an upbeat, unemployed, formerly single California girl who lives mid-sentence are probably the ones who star in the show. My life is wonderful but it is also what it is. People who come here already understand that.
Giving John Q Public the means to publish an opinion about absolutely everything is ridiculous. I long for the good old days of mystery, when you suspected someone might be stupid but they didn't have a chance to prove it.
For a dyed-in-the-wool, behind-the-scenes, get 'er done kind of energy bullet, this lifestyle change seemed kind of threatening at first. But now that I'm a celebrity and all, I'm thinking BIG. Maybe I'll aspire to be one of those astonishing 90 year olds who humbly lives in a one bedroom bungalow in Florida with too many cats and who bequeaths a stock portfolio totalling $10M to the cub scouts when I die.
Hey, it can happen!
Mar 17, 2010
Sustainable Life
I've had weird dreams lately, like trying to pick a floating puppy out of the clouds that I can't quite reach or being in a balloon and watching a violent earthquake going on below. Shake ups are certainly the new norm in our lives. Worries about keeping the lights on and food on the table, being productive and valued, have for the first time allowed fear to creep into seeing a shockingly bleaker future than the past.
And yet I sustain hope. It's my personality, some might say, and I'm out of touch, but you know it's not that at all. It's a deliberate belief system that takes work and practice and due diligence. I choose to hope. One way is by spending time and helping out those who ask. Oh I get something in return. My payoff has been an unexpected joy in sharing the quiet moments in people's lives as they transition. I don't have to decide anything or stake a claim, just be an extra pair of hands that can listen and work.
My life was bleak and it took a long time to find my way out of the tunnel. All the more reason to help when the need arises. All the more reason not to wish others knew how dark and frightening it is. All the more reason to cling to hope.
How do we know we'll survive those times? We don't but we do. And when hope eventually returns, it helps us see life will improve. There is sustainable life ahead, one self propelled and waiting to find. Look through the lens of hope and it is there.
And yet I sustain hope. It's my personality, some might say, and I'm out of touch, but you know it's not that at all. It's a deliberate belief system that takes work and practice and due diligence. I choose to hope. One way is by spending time and helping out those who ask. Oh I get something in return. My payoff has been an unexpected joy in sharing the quiet moments in people's lives as they transition. I don't have to decide anything or stake a claim, just be an extra pair of hands that can listen and work.
My life was bleak and it took a long time to find my way out of the tunnel. All the more reason to help when the need arises. All the more reason not to wish others knew how dark and frightening it is. All the more reason to cling to hope.
How do we know we'll survive those times? We don't but we do. And when hope eventually returns, it helps us see life will improve. There is sustainable life ahead, one self propelled and waiting to find. Look through the lens of hope and it is there.
Mar 13, 2010
The World by Storm
There are moments now when the joy is so profound I can help but say it aloud. Thank you, Lord, for the gifts in my life.
Our middle son moved in last week, in his good natured way of adjusting and adapting to all the changes necessary to clear a space for him. He set up a room that is spacious and at the same time warm and inviting. Suits him. The youngest is home with us, too, working hard at a job in Sac, working out, eating right, making strides. He's a joy to be around, too.
When the kids were small, I made sure they each had a sense of responsibility and skills that would make them independent when the time came to venture out into their lives. Looking back, teaching them to cook and clean, do laundry and budget gave them confidence to thrive. I figured they'd do as I had done, dive into life and never look back.
But I'm changing my mind about that in this depression no one wants to call that. These days I'm observing that parenting isn't contained to twenty-some-odd years. It's a never-ending balancing act of believing and encouraging and even offering a hand when the economic weather turns. So here we are, on firmer ground with a little family of wonderfully self-sufficient, capable men gaining strength and comfort before they take the world by storm.
Our middle son moved in last week, in his good natured way of adjusting and adapting to all the changes necessary to clear a space for him. He set up a room that is spacious and at the same time warm and inviting. Suits him. The youngest is home with us, too, working hard at a job in Sac, working out, eating right, making strides. He's a joy to be around, too.
When the kids were small, I made sure they each had a sense of responsibility and skills that would make them independent when the time came to venture out into their lives. Looking back, teaching them to cook and clean, do laundry and budget gave them confidence to thrive. I figured they'd do as I had done, dive into life and never look back.
But I'm changing my mind about that in this depression no one wants to call that. These days I'm observing that parenting isn't contained to twenty-some-odd years. It's a never-ending balancing act of believing and encouraging and even offering a hand when the economic weather turns. So here we are, on firmer ground with a little family of wonderfully self-sufficient, capable men gaining strength and comfort before they take the world by storm.
She Knew
Last weekend we spent time with the kids in a big beautiful cabin in Twain Harte. It would have been our granddaughter's 9th birthday and the cabin held us all, on three levels, each room full of noise, ski bibs, goves and jackets, and the kitchen counters overflowing with food and snacks and fruit. I think it dawned on all of us throughout the weekend that this is the kind of family get-together Aiyana loved most, everyone talking at once over the blare of the TV and PJ's guitar music floating in from another room.
The younger ones were busy exploring and sledding and everyone went bowling on Saturday night. A daughter won $600 at the casino and there were tales of adults sledding down the hill and getting stuck at the bottom, and others of the older kids having a world class snowball fight.
From every window there were beautiful trees and a bright moon with stars that seemed close enough to touch. The cabin is being made over and is in the process of change. It struck me that this is the perfect place for a family doing the same thing, gains and losses and the earnest reconciliation that is etched in each of our lives.
We long for Aiyana, the sound of her voice, the touch of her hand, watching her at play. We feel joy that she is with God and He is celebrating her every day right along with us. We put out tea lights on the deck in big letters, bright enough to glow all the way to Heaven: We Love You, Aiyana.
Not a one of us would change a minute with her or the footprints she left on our hearts. And just like this great big house, we will transition from where we are to where we are heading, loving each other just the way Aiyana would have wanted it.
The younger ones were busy exploring and sledding and everyone went bowling on Saturday night. A daughter won $600 at the casino and there were tales of adults sledding down the hill and getting stuck at the bottom, and others of the older kids having a world class snowball fight.
From every window there were beautiful trees and a bright moon with stars that seemed close enough to touch. The cabin is being made over and is in the process of change. It struck me that this is the perfect place for a family doing the same thing, gains and losses and the earnest reconciliation that is etched in each of our lives.
We long for Aiyana, the sound of her voice, the touch of her hand, watching her at play. We feel joy that she is with God and He is celebrating her every day right along with us. We put out tea lights on the deck in big letters, bright enough to glow all the way to Heaven: We Love You, Aiyana.Not a one of us would change a minute with her or the footprints she left on our hearts. And just like this great big house, we will transition from where we are to where we are heading, loving each other just the way Aiyana would have wanted it.
Mar 8, 2010
Hands to Hold
The Saturday of the wedding was supposed to rain. Some logistical issues had to be thought through, and other worries arose with so many travelling into the foothills for the first time.The groom got there early, to the Inn, that is, and made sure the rooms were warmed and ready, signs were put up on the doors and home made chocolate chip cookies were put out in the diningroom. Afterwards, he was spotted in the pub pacing around and waiting for the long afternoon to wind down. His family was beside him, feeding him lunch and a shot or two, I'm sure. Meanwhile, the bride was taking a leisurely drive north with Jenn to settle into a beautiful room upstairs.
The brother of the groom was charged with keeping b&g apart, and he did a good job except for a glimpse or two as we crossed the parkinglot between the Inn and the reception hall. The men formed a semi-circle wall as we made our way past. It was then that I felt Bride-like and laughed over the traditions that make such an important day all the more special.
Early in the afternoon, the rain stopped as the clouds turned to light gray and rays of sunshine peeked through the windows on the 2nd floor. Nerves quieted by guests arriving to rap on the door and share their excited hugs and good wishes and maybe get a glimpse of the dress. The bouquet that Korina made was exquisite: buttondown satin with roses and natural greenery and from it the mementos of those missing from the day: dad and moms, a brother, our beautiful Aiyana.
We began our trek across the rolling lawn and down the stairs into the hallway right at 6. And as I curved into view, and saw Randy's handsome face as he stood at the end of the hall, nervousness over being the center of attention melted away. His eyes filled with tears and he wiped them as he took my hand in his and said what he always does and always makes me feel, you are beautiful.And together, we stepped over the threshold and into married life.
Unity Coin Ceremony
Well here we are, old married folk. (New marriage, old folk is more like it!) I'm sure there are many blogs to come about the wonderful fun of sharing in the celebration, Aunt Toodie and the Conga line and Uncle Dick with the rose in his teeth, and so many many more stories and smiles.
On My Spiritual Wedding site, we learned about Unity Coins in lieu of the Unity Candle. The coins seemed perfect to represent exactly what we wanted to convey to each other in witness by our families and friends, tangible lessons we've learned along the way about love and giving that will help make our marriage joyous and full. Adding them to the ceremony was very meaningful.
Ceremony
The symbolic use of coins in a wedding ceremony is a tradition in many countries. In addition to the hope for prosperity and luck, it has come to also celebrate the spiritual and emotional journey a couple makes together. On the back side of each coin is the Celtic marriage knot and on the front is a universal symbol representing one of the 13 qualities of an enduring marriage:
Love, Caring, Trust, Unity, Commitment, Nurturing, Respect, Cooperation, Joy, Happiness, Wisdom, Peace, Harmony
May these Unity Coins represent the commitment to your marriage through your unwavering dedication to each other. We ask the Lord to keep these virtues present in your hearts and the coins to be a faithful reminder of your abundant love.
(Our hands closed over the coins for a moment – his and mine sharing equally to hold them)
Feb 23, 2010
Checklist: check!
Today is the day after the last day we met with Alfred. Today is the day we bring the last details to life. Vases and mirrors are washed and ready. Candle holders and manzanita, sparkles and candies are today's chore and another round of tidying up the house before our first guests arrive tomorrow morning. Table drapes and room layout and meetings and pedicures, between now and Thursday.
Checklist: check! There are all sorts of bags with stuff to take along on Saturday. This will be our day, our way. Last night we ran through the ceremony and practiced the words and timing with the music, and imagined what it will be like to be surrounded by love and good wishes. Louie and Dean and The Fab 4 will usher us in. I was kind of surprised I wasn't feeling self-conscious at all as I looked up into his eyes and felt the warmth of his hands. I saw only him.
I have a feeling a lot of our life together will be like that. I hope so, anyway.
Checklist: check! There are all sorts of bags with stuff to take along on Saturday. This will be our day, our way. Last night we ran through the ceremony and practiced the words and timing with the music, and imagined what it will be like to be surrounded by love and good wishes. Louie and Dean and The Fab 4 will usher us in. I was kind of surprised I wasn't feeling self-conscious at all as I looked up into his eyes and felt the warmth of his hands. I saw only him.
I have a feeling a lot of our life together will be like that. I hope so, anyway.
Feb 22, 2010
Along the Way
In the swirl of getting the place ready for wedding company we had a Saturday birthday celebration for Rman - 56 years as the crow flies, but he can still play the game just as well and jump high enough to find the jewels as he advances levels. In some ways he seems timeless.
Maybe it's because he still finds the world an interesting place. He digests news, watches Jeopardy, works hard, and oozes out that ex-hippie intellect and bawdy humor he is known for. The grandkids gobble up discussions on music and history, and I watch them build an unbreakable bond through thoughtful discussions and warm laughter. I wish he knew he is at his absolute best with children.
Naturally we've talked a lot about marriage recently and noticed the super successful marriages around us. Is there a secret? Maybe so. It looks like a great marriage has people in it who work in each other's bests interests every day, companionably exercising the muscles of generosity and thoughtfulness. That doesn't seem so mysterious.
They also seem to treat the marriage as something that stands on its own, a living breathing thing that is more than just the two of them. It makes sense that two makes it stronger than one but what I was surprised to learn is how the living part of marriage is defended. The best protection for a great marriage seems to be through the gentle nourishing tools of compromise, friendship, faith, steadfastness, patience and selflessness.
The simple lessons are often the toughest to learn. Through this, I am able to see that we already live some of the qualities of an exceptional marriage, in our deep love and devotion to each other and in the way we nurture it through compromise and commitment. Let's travel the rest of the way together, the three of us, as man and wife.
Maybe it's because he still finds the world an interesting place. He digests news, watches Jeopardy, works hard, and oozes out that ex-hippie intellect and bawdy humor he is known for. The grandkids gobble up discussions on music and history, and I watch them build an unbreakable bond through thoughtful discussions and warm laughter. I wish he knew he is at his absolute best with children.
Naturally we've talked a lot about marriage recently and noticed the super successful marriages around us. Is there a secret? Maybe so. It looks like a great marriage has people in it who work in each other's bests interests every day, companionably exercising the muscles of generosity and thoughtfulness. That doesn't seem so mysterious.
They also seem to treat the marriage as something that stands on its own, a living breathing thing that is more than just the two of them. It makes sense that two makes it stronger than one but what I was surprised to learn is how the living part of marriage is defended. The best protection for a great marriage seems to be through the gentle nourishing tools of compromise, friendship, faith, steadfastness, patience and selflessness.
The simple lessons are often the toughest to learn. Through this, I am able to see that we already live some of the qualities of an exceptional marriage, in our deep love and devotion to each other and in the way we nurture it through compromise and commitment. Let's travel the rest of the way together, the three of us, as man and wife.
Feb 18, 2010
Two Minutes a Day
I've been having a devil of a time sleeping. There doesn't seem to be any more on my mind than usual, so maybe it's a lack of a routine to tucker me out. Reading doesn't help, milk and cookies, and some nights, not even Melatonin.
About a year ago, I began practicing (exercising?) active gratefulness before I got up in the morning. If the first step to changing a world is changing your thinking, it was worth 2 minutes a day. I began counting my blessings, out loud and purposefully.
I'm not saying some mornings I didn't struggle to find just one thing that was good, like when Bursitis and Sciatica made it hard to get out of bed. But I enjoyed the time and so did God. As I practiced gratefulness, blessings began to spring up throughout the day and I looked forward to sharing them during our little chats. I found them everywhere.
And then an interesting thing happened. Somehow, my life started to intersect with other people who live the same way. In demonstrating generosity a conversation would inevitably draw us together and would end in how they practice gratefulness. After that, I became much better at recognizing it in the motivations of others and what those unexpected kind words and deeds really mean. And then miraculous big events started to happen, like our tenant friends who found a wonderful replacement to rent the house so we wouldn't lose rent or an Innkeeper that made our wedding dreams come true on a measley budget.
I know blessings are hard to see. Real hardships are out there, scary and real. But believe in them and look for them and you will see God's hopeful promise in them that life will rebound. Even when the unimaginable happened last year and we lost our granddaughter, the pro side of the Blessings Ledger stepped up to help bolster us as we withstood losing what was most precious.
A great investment in just two minutes a day.
About a year ago, I began practicing (exercising?) active gratefulness before I got up in the morning. If the first step to changing a world is changing your thinking, it was worth 2 minutes a day. I began counting my blessings, out loud and purposefully.
I'm not saying some mornings I didn't struggle to find just one thing that was good, like when Bursitis and Sciatica made it hard to get out of bed. But I enjoyed the time and so did God. As I practiced gratefulness, blessings began to spring up throughout the day and I looked forward to sharing them during our little chats. I found them everywhere.
And then an interesting thing happened. Somehow, my life started to intersect with other people who live the same way. In demonstrating generosity a conversation would inevitably draw us together and would end in how they practice gratefulness. After that, I became much better at recognizing it in the motivations of others and what those unexpected kind words and deeds really mean. And then miraculous big events started to happen, like our tenant friends who found a wonderful replacement to rent the house so we wouldn't lose rent or an Innkeeper that made our wedding dreams come true on a measley budget.
I know blessings are hard to see. Real hardships are out there, scary and real. But believe in them and look for them and you will see God's hopeful promise in them that life will rebound. Even when the unimaginable happened last year and we lost our granddaughter, the pro side of the Blessings Ledger stepped up to help bolster us as we withstood losing what was most precious.
A great investment in just two minutes a day.
Feb 17, 2010
Well Spoken
A friend said to me the other day that blogging is journaling in the modern world and I suppose she's right. For me it's like practicing piano, over and over, 45 minutes a day, to see what tumbles out. It's an exercise in putting voice to what it means to be me.
Blogging lets me do something I haven't been able to master in the world at large and that is share what's in my heart. I envy people who have the confidence to be out in the world, to know that what they have to say is interesting enough to capture anyone's attention.
I have felt woefully small most of my life. Maybe it's because I settled for less than I could have been and wasted time trying to be what others wanted me to be rather than discovering what I really wanted for myself. I forgot to set the bar and reach for what would develop into a real purpose and passion. I let myself be underestimated. I came to disbelieve my value.
I Googled my dad's name the other day and there were 4 pages of links. And so in addition to leaving a lasting legacy in the lives of those he loved, teaching the unconditional elements of love and family, he left tangible ones as well through books and speeches. Even for those who didn't know him personally, his works will live on.
Maybe I blog for that reason, too, somewhere a bit of me remains, where I can look back and celebrate God's grace in my life and how wonderful it has been. And who knows, maybe someday this little journal will be a place of value for people to go to when they want to remember and reminisce. I hope it speaks well of how I spent my time.
Blogging lets me do something I haven't been able to master in the world at large and that is share what's in my heart. I envy people who have the confidence to be out in the world, to know that what they have to say is interesting enough to capture anyone's attention.
I have felt woefully small most of my life. Maybe it's because I settled for less than I could have been and wasted time trying to be what others wanted me to be rather than discovering what I really wanted for myself. I forgot to set the bar and reach for what would develop into a real purpose and passion. I let myself be underestimated. I came to disbelieve my value.
I Googled my dad's name the other day and there were 4 pages of links. And so in addition to leaving a lasting legacy in the lives of those he loved, teaching the unconditional elements of love and family, he left tangible ones as well through books and speeches. Even for those who didn't know him personally, his works will live on.
Maybe I blog for that reason, too, somewhere a bit of me remains, where I can look back and celebrate God's grace in my life and how wonderful it has been. And who knows, maybe someday this little journal will be a place of value for people to go to when they want to remember and reminisce. I hope it speaks well of how I spent my time.
Gravy
I forget sometimes that life is an intensely personal experience as we wade through the journey of thoughts and feelings. The lessons we learn spill out and into the lives we touch but they are ours first to own and process.
Nowhere is this more evident than in the initial stages of relationship building. It's so easy to step over the invisible boundaries of what you're ready for. It may look like a vase but that doesn't mean it is ready for water. Delicate greenware still needs to be fired by the experiences and nurturings that will transform it into something solid and enduring.
Easy does it, I remind myself. We've made the decision to marry and there are ripples through everyone's lives. Feelings are bound to spring up when change happens, even with happy events. Patience is needed more now than ever as we move forward into our life together. One day at a time we will build, love, and cherish our families and friends. Anything beyond that is gravy.
Nowhere is this more evident than in the initial stages of relationship building. It's so easy to step over the invisible boundaries of what you're ready for. It may look like a vase but that doesn't mean it is ready for water. Delicate greenware still needs to be fired by the experiences and nurturings that will transform it into something solid and enduring.
Easy does it, I remind myself. We've made the decision to marry and there are ripples through everyone's lives. Feelings are bound to spring up when change happens, even with happy events. Patience is needed more now than ever as we move forward into our life together. One day at a time we will build, love, and cherish our families and friends. Anything beyond that is gravy.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)