We celebrated Pop B's birthday yesterday. Talk about being completely in the dark! (For a half hour or so, anyway, the restaurant had no power.) The place was jammed with people. So we decided to get in on the food in the buffet line while we still could.
Armed with a cell phone lighting up chinese and japanese food, which looks weird even with the lights on, we kind of leaned forward and peered into the steam trays and sort of poked at it with a spoon. What do you think? pork? chicken? tofu? Still in the dark, we brought our plates back to the table and dug in. I am pretty sure I just ate some jellyfish.
Pop wasn't feeling very well even before that. He'd had a recent trip to the hospital, poor guy, but once the lights came back on we sang happy bday which cheered him up, and spending time with the guys is always a treat. It's never quite the same, he says, if anyone is missing, and with life and distance commitments inevitably there is someone with a conflict. I think we've only had 100% attendance (sons + wives + grandkids) a couple of times.
It was a beautiful day in The City: mild, warm, clear, and sunny. Pop headed home and a few of us went down to the beach and met up with some Sunset District people in an atrium and talked over a live band. We walked to the beach and laughed away the day hearing new stories.
Nice weekend. Pop's 82nd. I'll bet he's had plenty of afternoons like the one we just enjoyed, hanging with friends in the sun. I'm glad about that.
Oct 30, 2011
Oct 27, 2011
The Best Kind of Day
 |
| This is what the bone sees as it is handed over to a happy puppy |
It's a routine that works for us.
What also works for us is to typically leave the sliding door ajar so she can come in and out as needed. It prevents accidents in the house and gives her freedom of movement to find her favorite toys wherever they were left.
The other morning Sam was coming in and out of the house as usual, bringing me treasures she found from the far East and far West of the yard. A snail. A piece of rebar. A mangy sprinkler head caked in dirt. A slimy ball. A piece of plastic sheeting for weeds. A rock.
And her last trip in was a gallop. I heard her coming before I saw her, which was unfortunate when she rounded the bend excitedly. She was covered in mud. All four paws up to her middle, and most of her underside. Carpet and Flooring and Puppies, Oh My.
So lickety split we headed out on a search for the source of the mud. She found a tiny patch of mud just on the other side of the concrete pad where the air conditioner drips. 4"x6". Cover and hide, and then off for a bath and the carpet shampooer. Mud for little anythings makes for the best kind of day.
All of the Above
You know what they say about working by committee: it takes twice as long to get half as much done, and nobody's happy.
Big families know this axiom. The bigger the family, the more likely someone will slack off. There are the doers who always step up, and the others who always step back, relieved, and let them do it all.
But when the stakes are high, does it make sense for only one or two to know what is going on and tell the others - and dredge up all that family dynamic that forms two camps of thought on what to do ... and inevitably forces it to come down to a simple majority vote?
It was different in my family. Everyone had a role: caregiver, logistics, health coordinator. You need a tree removed during Thanksgiving dinner or sprinklers repaired or a blind put up? Got it. You want someone to cook and read to you? Simultaneously? Done.
When my mom didn't understand what was going on and I needed help, I picked up the phone. My brother was surprised by the call (after all, he is a logistics man), but he turned the car around and headed right up. At first I thought that being in a small family meant there is nowhere to hide.
But now I realize it is more about being in tune with the people we care for. Don knew Mom better than anyone else and her preferences, too, even when she could no longer articulate them. He had already asked and answered the burning question we all contemplate as nurturers and caregivers:
Big families know this axiom. The bigger the family, the more likely someone will slack off. There are the doers who always step up, and the others who always step back, relieved, and let them do it all.
But when the stakes are high, does it make sense for only one or two to know what is going on and tell the others - and dredge up all that family dynamic that forms two camps of thought on what to do ... and inevitably forces it to come down to a simple majority vote?
It was different in my family. Everyone had a role: caregiver, logistics, health coordinator. You need a tree removed during Thanksgiving dinner or sprinklers repaired or a blind put up? Got it. You want someone to cook and read to you? Simultaneously? Done.
When my mom didn't understand what was going on and I needed help, I picked up the phone. My brother was surprised by the call (after all, he is a logistics man), but he turned the car around and headed right up. At first I thought that being in a small family meant there is nowhere to hide.
But now I realize it is more about being in tune with the people we care for. Don knew Mom better than anyone else and her preferences, too, even when she could no longer articulate them. He had already asked and answered the burning question we all contemplate as nurturers and caregivers:
If it were me in that bed,
what would I want?
what would I want?
Oct 14, 2011
the Present moment
I have had the pleasure of coming to know a volunteer who is Japanese. She was raised just outside of Tokyo, and family still resides there, although she has been in the United States now for several years.
Her beautiful face and quick smile came to us because her husband is working for a Japanese car manufacturer and has been assigned to California for three years. She is raising their four year old son and with him in preschool she wanted something productive to do.
She is eminently patient when she meets someone new and is asked over and over about the earthquake and Tsunami and how her family fared. She is hard working, respectful to the task and thorough. There is a quiet gratefulness to sitting down to a meal together or approaching a task that is hard to define.
On this day, I learned about her Nuclear family, what the economy is like for young people there, (same as here, no work) and what it is like to be a mother of a completely bilingual son. I shared news of our family, and the enormous bounty of that. She immediately asked if we were Catholic ~ !! Some of us are, but mostly I would categorize us as abundant.
I also learned of her degree in Pharmacology and attending a school in Portland, OR, for several years. She liked the weather there until moving to Davis where there is more sun. At lunch yesterday, my niece was volunteering and very interested in her schooling, being in school herself in the same field. You should have seen the volunteer's face when Sara started asking the questions in fluent Japanese.
It was incredibly fun watching the two of them talk and tell jokes half in English and half in Japanese. It super-charged the day, made the tasks fly by, and we parted in smiles. I think my favorite part of daily life is the potential for every moment to have surprises tucked inside.
Her beautiful face and quick smile came to us because her husband is working for a Japanese car manufacturer and has been assigned to California for three years. She is raising their four year old son and with him in preschool she wanted something productive to do.
She is eminently patient when she meets someone new and is asked over and over about the earthquake and Tsunami and how her family fared. She is hard working, respectful to the task and thorough. There is a quiet gratefulness to sitting down to a meal together or approaching a task that is hard to define.
On this day, I learned about her Nuclear family, what the economy is like for young people there, (same as here, no work) and what it is like to be a mother of a completely bilingual son. I shared news of our family, and the enormous bounty of that. She immediately asked if we were Catholic ~ !! Some of us are, but mostly I would categorize us as abundant.
I also learned of her degree in Pharmacology and attending a school in Portland, OR, for several years. She liked the weather there until moving to Davis where there is more sun. At lunch yesterday, my niece was volunteering and very interested in her schooling, being in school herself in the same field. You should have seen the volunteer's face when Sara started asking the questions in fluent Japanese.
It was incredibly fun watching the two of them talk and tell jokes half in English and half in Japanese. It super-charged the day, made the tasks fly by, and we parted in smiles. I think my favorite part of daily life is the potential for every moment to have surprises tucked inside.
Oct 13, 2011
Down the Hatch
Post 470. Wow.
So the newest attempt to Do Something to rebuff the news of the Scale is this: Body by Vi. It's the one thing I thought I'd never do ~ a beverage to substitute a meal once or twice a day.
It was on the table when I got home last night, and so today proper is the first day of the nutritional adaptation, not wanting to bring bad karma on the attempt. Healthier Living - Visalus Science - is supposed to help boost metabolism through a balance of vitamins and minerals, burn fat, control hunger, clean my kitchen, and wash the dog.
This morning I assembled a cup of milk, 2 scoops of powder, 1 cup of frozen fresh berries, and wahlah: an incredibly delicious 12 ounces of milkshakish numminess that I ate with a spoon. Remember when you are making a cake and have mixed the batter a hundred times and just poured it into the pan and there's some left in the bowl and you greedily lick it off the spatula? It tastes like that. With fruit.
There's all these other choices, too - health flavor mix ins if you want to try them - or supplements that target a healthy heart, circulation and complexion. But my needs are simple at this point. And anyway, I'm holding out for the apple pie flavor by combining the powder with milk, a small apple, some cinnamon and 4 ice cubes.
So the newest attempt to Do Something to rebuff the news of the Scale is this: Body by Vi. It's the one thing I thought I'd never do ~ a beverage to substitute a meal once or twice a day.
It was on the table when I got home last night, and so today proper is the first day of the nutritional adaptation, not wanting to bring bad karma on the attempt. Healthier Living - Visalus Science - is supposed to help boost metabolism through a balance of vitamins and minerals, burn fat, control hunger, clean my kitchen, and wash the dog.
There's all these other choices, too - health flavor mix ins if you want to try them - or supplements that target a healthy heart, circulation and complexion. But my needs are simple at this point. And anyway, I'm holding out for the apple pie flavor by combining the powder with milk, a small apple, some cinnamon and 4 ice cubes.
Oct 11, 2011
More Than Ever Before
It sometimes feels like I'm in a campy old movie in a cardboard car smiling out and moving the plastic steering wheel while the background whizzes by.
It has been said that keeping your childlike innocence helps to see the world through that permanent lens. I suppose it's true. I was given a heaping scoop of that sort of thing. It is hereditary. On my father's side.
During the dark ages, it was my dad who worried that I would lose that sense of innocence. For years, it seemed lost. But something interesting happened, after things settled down. After the days and years ticked by and I wondered if this is how it would be, a peripheral world of solitude. After a friend once charged that I must not like myself well enough to be alone. I realized I am companionable by nature and unsatisfied with a solitary life.
The boys were growing into their own lives and action was required to change the circumstance of my life. A chance. A risk. But where to start. Gradually my heart felt strong and possible. There was awkwardness with the untried skills and times I didn't recognize myself as I pressed on. I learned to live with being out of my element. I had a plan.
My inner circle was not happy. Some worried and wrung their hands; some sent spies to report back to the hive. Some acted like they celebrated the process but did not; some quit calling. But there were those who wrapped me up and said ... do not stray too far and lose your way. We are waiting when you return. They never said not to go.
It took a while of exploring and getting turned around before I recognized something. It was sunning itself on a rock, patiently waiting. I know you! I scooped up myjoyful innocence and danced and laughed and cried for the first time in way too long, and put it away in my heart.
I look back now and wonder if it was tucked around a 250 lb half German half Italian who has lit up my life or just a coincidence in timing. Maybe it was the clarity of being able to look at life with hopefulness again and finding the newness in normal everyday things.
It has been said that keeping your childlike innocence helps to see the world through that permanent lens. I suppose it's true. I was given a heaping scoop of that sort of thing. It is hereditary. On my father's side.
During the dark ages, it was my dad who worried that I would lose that sense of innocence. For years, it seemed lost. But something interesting happened, after things settled down. After the days and years ticked by and I wondered if this is how it would be, a peripheral world of solitude. After a friend once charged that I must not like myself well enough to be alone. I realized I am companionable by nature and unsatisfied with a solitary life. The boys were growing into their own lives and action was required to change the circumstance of my life. A chance. A risk. But where to start. Gradually my heart felt strong and possible. There was awkwardness with the untried skills and times I didn't recognize myself as I pressed on. I learned to live with being out of my element. I had a plan.
My inner circle was not happy. Some worried and wrung their hands; some sent spies to report back to the hive. Some acted like they celebrated the process but did not; some quit calling. But there were those who wrapped me up and said ... do not stray too far and lose your way. We are waiting when you return. They never said not to go.
It took a while of exploring and getting turned around before I recognized something. It was sunning itself on a rock, patiently waiting. I know you! I scooped up myjoyful innocence and danced and laughed and cried for the first time in way too long, and put it away in my heart. I look back now and wonder if it was tucked around a 250 lb half German half Italian who has lit up my life or just a coincidence in timing. Maybe it was the clarity of being able to look at life with hopefulness again and finding the newness in normal everyday things.
All I know for sure is that life has balance now, and grit and laughter and love. And I am myself more than ever before.
Giving Somebody Your Heart by Christopher Lowman
Amen, Brother!!
In every interaction you have with another human being—doesn’t matter who—you always have two main choices. (The keyword is choice.)
One choice usually leads to logical (boring) interaction, politeness, formalities. And, more importantly, a lack of connectivity.
The other usually leads to interesting discussion, love (yes, love), aliveness, friendship, gift giving. And connectivity.
In every interaction you are either giving somebody else your mind—your intellect, your intelligent points, the who/what/where/when/why of your existence.
This is the easy thing to do. The safe thing to do. It doesn’t require much, if any, emotional strength or really expose who you are. In this way, you can hide from others (or from your self, depending on how you look at it) and not risk rejection by not even giving somebody the chance to reject you.
Or, you are giving somebody your heart—the real you, your presence, your true attention.
This is the hard thing to do. The risky thing to do. It involves an enormous amount of emotional strength (until it doesn’t). It entails entering the present moment. And it entails pushing through the challenging and stifling fear of doing so.
Instead of thinking about what to say or do, you let your inwardly felt experience inform your words and actions toward others.
Think about how often you self-censor and hit the mute button. Why? Why not just assume that what you have to say is valuable, even if it comes out not so smooth? Then maybe you say next, “oh, that was lame” and then laugh.
It’s this kind of moment-to-moment truthfulness that is required.
It’s so easy (but frightening) to practice because you always know what to say or do in any interaction with somebody else. The problem is having the courage to act on it.
Isn’t it time to feel less anxious and less alone and less unfulfilled?
--Christopher Lowman, from "Moving Towards Peace" blog
In every interaction you have with another human being—doesn’t matter who—you always have two main choices. (The keyword is choice.)
One choice usually leads to logical (boring) interaction, politeness, formalities. And, more importantly, a lack of connectivity.
The other usually leads to interesting discussion, love (yes, love), aliveness, friendship, gift giving. And connectivity.
In every interaction you are either giving somebody else your mind—your intellect, your intelligent points, the who/what/where/when/why of your existence.
This is the easy thing to do. The safe thing to do. It doesn’t require much, if any, emotional strength or really expose who you are. In this way, you can hide from others (or from your self, depending on how you look at it) and not risk rejection by not even giving somebody the chance to reject you.
Or, you are giving somebody your heart—the real you, your presence, your true attention.
This is the hard thing to do. The risky thing to do. It involves an enormous amount of emotional strength (until it doesn’t). It entails entering the present moment. And it entails pushing through the challenging and stifling fear of doing so.
Instead of thinking about what to say or do, you let your inwardly felt experience inform your words and actions toward others.
Think about how often you self-censor and hit the mute button. Why? Why not just assume that what you have to say is valuable, even if it comes out not so smooth? Then maybe you say next, “oh, that was lame” and then laugh.
It’s this kind of moment-to-moment truthfulness that is required.
It’s so easy (but frightening) to practice because you always know what to say or do in any interaction with somebody else. The problem is having the courage to act on it.
Isn’t it time to feel less anxious and less alone and less unfulfilled?
--Christopher Lowman, from "Moving Towards Peace" blog
Oct 9, 2011
A Day in the Life
We were watching One Step Beyond this afternoon instead of working in the yard. I think it was a much better use of our time. The old Alcoa Wrap commercials were introducing aluminum foil as the new best kitchen tool of the 1950s.
The cool thing about seeing old stuff like that is how different it seems now. The first time I saw the episodes, I'm sure I identified with the heroine, and now it's the parents.
Sam had her first play day with Gatsby yesterday now that her 2nd set of shots is done. Gats had come off a day of hard play with a new little friend on Friday with lots of energy, and so he arrived with a bit of a hangover.
This is how it went.
Sam was so very excited. Gats took it in stride. Sam jumped straight up like she was on a spring for a while and then was showing Gats around the yard. It wasn't long before Gats could pretty much stand in one spot and Sam would tear around, over to her dig box, back and around the shed, in and out of the run, around the pool, up and off the swing and back to Gats (who was still standing there in shock).
Repeat.
Eventually Gats noticed that Sam was afraid of the water and so he would sit at the edge of the spa and walk dangerously close to the pool if he wanted to force her to give him some down time.
When times like that arose, she assumed the play position (front legs flat on the ground with her butt in the air and tail wagging) and barked. And barked. And barked some more, until she drove him crazy enough to chase her a little, which started the whole routine over. By the time dinner had come and gone, Gats was sitting at the front door staring out through the glass at his car.
Young people act like Old is a bad thing, but what about the free pass to do stuff ? That's going to be fun. Chronology doesn't matter much unless it is feared.
The 20s = foundation years
The 30s = building years
The 40s = refining years
The 50s = rebuilding years
The 60s and beyond = rediscovery and exploration years
(There's no failure to launch this rocket.)
Speaking of rockets, we got a call from Bill this weekend, the artist from Santa Barbara. He received the Mercedes plaque Randy send him from his stash of unique stuff in the Oval Office. We'll check out what he does with it next time we're down.
The tree trimmer guy yesterday turned out to be a McCaleb! Serendipity is just so very cool. Brenda says he's her first cousin, and she and I are mysteriously related but fond enough of each other not to care much how. One of these days we'll trace where our limbs connect to the same trunk. The Chicago Heights IL unit was pretty small with my dad an only child and my brother with no sons to carry on the surname. Good thing there's more prolific Maclimbs...
The cool thing about seeing old stuff like that is how different it seems now. The first time I saw the episodes, I'm sure I identified with the heroine, and now it's the parents.
 |
| Did somebody say play day? |
This is how it went.
 |
| Let's pretend we are wild dogs looking for food |
Repeat.
 |
| You just got here: did I kill you? |
When times like that arose, she assumed the play position (front legs flat on the ground with her butt in the air and tail wagging) and barked. And barked. And barked some more, until she drove him crazy enough to chase her a little, which started the whole routine over. By the time dinner had come and gone, Gats was sitting at the front door staring out through the glass at his car.
Young people act like Old is a bad thing, but what about the free pass to do stuff ? That's going to be fun. Chronology doesn't matter much unless it is feared.
The 20s = foundation years
The 30s = building years
The 40s = refining years
The 50s = rebuilding years
The 60s and beyond = rediscovery and exploration years
(There's no failure to launch this rocket.)
Speaking of rockets, we got a call from Bill this weekend, the artist from Santa Barbara. He received the Mercedes plaque Randy send him from his stash of unique stuff in the Oval Office. We'll check out what he does with it next time we're down.
The tree trimmer guy yesterday turned out to be a McCaleb! Serendipity is just so very cool. Brenda says he's her first cousin, and she and I are mysteriously related but fond enough of each other not to care much how. One of these days we'll trace where our limbs connect to the same trunk. The Chicago Heights IL unit was pretty small with my dad an only child and my brother with no sons to carry on the surname. Good thing there's more prolific Maclimbs...
Oct 1, 2011
The First Flash Mob
In 1940, German tanks rolled across European countries. In April they entered the peaceful country of Denmark. The Danish military was no match for the Nazi juggernaut who had already seized much of central and southern Europe. The Nazi Swastika met little resistance.
As part of the Nazi system of intimidation and terror, the Germans required every Dane of Jewish descent to wear a yellow Star of David. This made the Jews easy targets for persecution, violence, robbery and death. Any Jew who chose not to comply would immediately be removed from society and certainly face the horrors of genocide. The Star of David was and is a symbol of faith, culture and heritage, but the Nazi’s used it to mark Jews as less than human.
The Danish people did not have the resources to fight the powerful enemy, but their courageous leader, King Christian the Tenth, made a bold decision that risked his life and the lives of Denmark’s citizens. In an effort to keep the Nazis from singling out the Jews, King Christian asked everyone to wear the Star of David. He called on every Danish household to partner with their Jewish neighbors and stand beside them during this difficult time. In other words, he asked for a flash mob to confound and confuse the efforts of genocide.
What would you have done had you lived in Denmark in 1940? Fear certainly gripped the hearts of those first Gentiles citizens who ventured out of their homes the morning after the king’s plea. Would they be the only ones who risked it all for the good of another?
What happened that day was nothing short of the hand of God moving in our world. There were Stars of David sewed to the clothing of everyone. The Jews wept when they saw the people’s love and concern. But more importantly, because the people stood together for the good of another, the Nazi’s full plan of persecution against the Jews was never carried out in Denmark.
---
Cary Duckett is pastor of Carmichael's Cypress Avenue Baptist Church
The Danish people did not have the resources to fight the powerful enemy, but their courageous leader, King Christian the Tenth, made a bold decision that risked his life and the lives of Denmark’s citizens. In an effort to keep the Nazis from singling out the Jews, King Christian asked everyone to wear the Star of David. He called on every Danish household to partner with their Jewish neighbors and stand beside them during this difficult time. In other words, he asked for a flash mob to confound and confuse the efforts of genocide.
What would you have done had you lived in Denmark in 1940? Fear certainly gripped the hearts of those first Gentiles citizens who ventured out of their homes the morning after the king’s plea. Would they be the only ones who risked it all for the good of another?
What happened that day was nothing short of the hand of God moving in our world. There were Stars of David sewed to the clothing of everyone. The Jews wept when they saw the people’s love and concern. But more importantly, because the people stood together for the good of another, the Nazi’s full plan of persecution against the Jews was never carried out in Denmark.
---
Cary Duckett is pastor of Carmichael's Cypress Avenue Baptist Church
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