I tear through life like its on fire. Lord, there's not a minute to spare.
Ah: I know what this is! This is life in transition, with one foot in the old life and one in the new. The mail is forwarded, the dog is settled, and the mountain of stuff is somewhere or other, a storage unit, a flatbed trailer, at the old place.
Don and Jami just went through this. Don's been a confirmed bachelor all of his life until the girl down the block won his heart. He's a historian, a world traveller and photographer so his life is cluttered with the trappings of that: a shell casing from WWI, framed photos of exotic places, memorabilia from the Civil War, family heirlooms, a kayak.
He recently mentioned how much easier it is to let go of things when you are building a life with someone. In other words, the things that Don had attached such significance to have now become just things.
Wow. Loving somebody stretches us into new shapes. I suppose we're apt to feel a small twinge of nostalgia as the old patterns slip away but in its place is the excitement of making a new and better life. I was curious how Randy and I would get from here to there, somewhere I could crack open that book I've been neglecting. The answer is: we just will.
Oct 27, 2008
Oct 6, 2008
Before I Go
When my marriage ended, there were several minor things that took on huge significance because, contrary to popular belief, being the one left is just as hard as the one being asked to go.
I needed anchors. Right away, I bought a kayak, something I'd always wanted, and a patio set for the yard. Daisy the Wonderdog came inside to sleep that very first night and remained there until she passed away in 2005. She even slept on the bed once or twice.
That year I treated myself to acrylic nails and bought a car and a house entirely on my own. And that is how I eased from reliance to self-reliance and became an Independent.
My sons say, nearly 10 years later, how much calmer and more easy going I am now. I laugh good-naturedly at that, so unaware they are of the complexities of raising three rambunctious boys with a demanding job. It was a Team of One plucking them off the roof, fixing the sprinklers, running to the ER with stitches and broken bones, sweating the bills, and monitoring their school. I really missed life BD (before divorce) but it was a Needs -vs- Wants kind of existence and, frankly, I was grateful just to keep all the balls in the air.
There were catastrophically hard choices to make, the consequences of which are still felt. Moving an hour north had a significant impact as did the boys' choices for college and moving away. In the end, each of us had to shed a lot of the past to make room for the future.
As I pack seven years later, I am surprised by how significant those markers continue to be. I am deeply attached to the house and the accessories accumulated along the way. Some of it will move forward: the iron bed Michael made in high school, David's handwoven scarf and Tim's gumball dispensing machine. I linger here in the half disassembled livingroom, trying to swallow the lump in my throat as I memorize each detail. I will miss it.
I needed anchors. Right away, I bought a kayak, something I'd always wanted, and a patio set for the yard. Daisy the Wonderdog came inside to sleep that very first night and remained there until she passed away in 2005. She even slept on the bed once or twice.
That year I treated myself to acrylic nails and bought a car and a house entirely on my own. And that is how I eased from reliance to self-reliance and became an Independent.
My sons say, nearly 10 years later, how much calmer and more easy going I am now. I laugh good-naturedly at that, so unaware they are of the complexities of raising three rambunctious boys with a demanding job. It was a Team of One plucking them off the roof, fixing the sprinklers, running to the ER with stitches and broken bones, sweating the bills, and monitoring their school. I really missed life BD (before divorce) but it was a Needs -vs- Wants kind of existence and, frankly, I was grateful just to keep all the balls in the air.
There were catastrophically hard choices to make, the consequences of which are still felt. Moving an hour north had a significant impact as did the boys' choices for college and moving away. In the end, each of us had to shed a lot of the past to make room for the future.
As I pack seven years later, I am surprised by how significant those markers continue to be. I am deeply attached to the house and the accessories accumulated along the way. Some of it will move forward: the iron bed Michael made in high school, David's handwoven scarf and Tim's gumball dispensing machine. I linger here in the half disassembled livingroom, trying to swallow the lump in my throat as I memorize each detail. I will miss it.
Oct 4, 2008
Asleep at the Switch
September 30, 1.9.9.9.
Fannie Mae Eases Credit To Aid Mortgage Lending
By STEVEN A. HOLMES
In a move that could help increase home ownership rates among minorities and low-income consumers, the Fannie Mae Corporation is easing the credit requirements on loans that it will purchase from banks and other lenders.
The action, which will begin as a pilot program involving 24 banks in 15 markets -- including the New York metropolitan region -- will encourage those banks to extend home mortgages to individuals whose credit is generally not good enough to qualify for conventional loans. Fannie Mae officials say they hope to make it a nationwide program by next spring.
Fannie Mae, the nation's biggest underwriter of home mortgages, has been under increasing pressure from the Clinton Administration to expand mortgage loans among low and moderate income people and felt pressure from stock holders to maintain its phenomenal growth in profits.
In addition, banks, thrift institutions and mortgage companies have been pressing Fannie Mae to help them make more loans to so-called subprime borrowers. These borrowers whose incomes, credit ratings and savings are not good enough to qualify for conventional loans, can only get loans from finance companies that charge much higher interest rates -- anywhere from three to four percentage points higher than conventional loans.
''Fannie Mae has expanded home ownership for millions of families in the 1990's by reducing down payment requirements,'' said Franklin D. Raines, Fannie Mae's chairman and chief executive officer. ''Yet there remain too many borrowers whose credit is just a notch below what our underwriting has required who have been relegated to paying significantly higher mortgage rates in the so-called subprime market.''
Demographic information on these borrowers is sketchy. But at least one study indicates that 18 percent of the loans in the subprime market went to black borrowers, compared to 5 per cent of loans in the conventional loan market.
In moving, even tentatively, into this new area of lending, Fannie Mae is taking on significantly more risk, which may not pose any difficulties during flush economic times. But the government-subsidized corporation may run into trouble in an economic downturn, prompting a government rescue similar to that of the savings and loan industry in the 1980's.
''From the perspective of many people, including me, this is another thrift industry growing up around us,'' said Peter Wallison a resident fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. ''If they fail, the government will have to step up and bail them out the way it stepped up and bailed out the thrift industry.''
Under Fannie Mae's pilot program, consumers who qualify can secure a mortgage with an interest rate one percentage point above that of a conventional, 30-year fixed rate mortgage of less than $240,000 -- a rate that currently averages about 7.76 per cent. If the borrower makes his or her monthly payments on time for two years, the one percentage point premium is dropped.
Fannie Mae, the nation's biggest underwriter of home mortgages, does not lend money directly to consumers. Instead, it purchases loans that banks make on what is called the secondary market. By expanding the type of loans that it will buy, Fannie Mae is hoping to spur banks to make more loans to people with less-than-stellar credit ratings.
Fannie Mae officials stress that the new mortgages will be extended to all potential borrowers who can qualify for a mortgage. But they add that the move is intended in part to increase the number of minority and low income home owners who tend to have worse credit ratings than non-Hispanic whites.
Home ownership has, in fact, exploded among minorities during the economic boom of the 1990's. The number of mortgages extended to Hispanic applicants jumped by 87.2 per cent from 1993 to 1998, according to Harvard University's Joint Center for Housing Studies. During that same period the number of African Americans who got mortgages to buy a home increased by 71.9 per cent and the number of Asian Americans by 46.3 per cent. In contrast, the number of non-Hispanic whites who received loans for homes increased by 31.2 per cent.
Despite these gains, home ownership rates for minorities continue to lag behind non-Hispanic whites, in part because blacks and Hispanics in particular tend to have on average worse credit ratings.
In July, the Department of Housing and Urban Development proposed that by the year 2001, 50 percent of Fannie Mae's and Freddie Mac's portfolio be made up of loans to low and moderate-income borrowers. Last year, 44 percent of the loans Fannie Mae purchased were from these groups.
The change in policy also comes at the same time that HUD is investigating allegations of racial discrimination in the automated underwriting systems used by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to determine the credit-worthiness of credit applicants.
Fannie Mae Eases Credit To Aid Mortgage Lending
By STEVEN A. HOLMES
In a move that could help increase home ownership rates among minorities and low-income consumers, the Fannie Mae Corporation is easing the credit requirements on loans that it will purchase from banks and other lenders.
The action, which will begin as a pilot program involving 24 banks in 15 markets -- including the New York metropolitan region -- will encourage those banks to extend home mortgages to individuals whose credit is generally not good enough to qualify for conventional loans. Fannie Mae officials say they hope to make it a nationwide program by next spring.
Fannie Mae, the nation's biggest underwriter of home mortgages, has been under increasing pressure from the Clinton Administration to expand mortgage loans among low and moderate income people and felt pressure from stock holders to maintain its phenomenal growth in profits.
In addition, banks, thrift institutions and mortgage companies have been pressing Fannie Mae to help them make more loans to so-called subprime borrowers. These borrowers whose incomes, credit ratings and savings are not good enough to qualify for conventional loans, can only get loans from finance companies that charge much higher interest rates -- anywhere from three to four percentage points higher than conventional loans.
''Fannie Mae has expanded home ownership for millions of families in the 1990's by reducing down payment requirements,'' said Franklin D. Raines, Fannie Mae's chairman and chief executive officer. ''Yet there remain too many borrowers whose credit is just a notch below what our underwriting has required who have been relegated to paying significantly higher mortgage rates in the so-called subprime market.''
Demographic information on these borrowers is sketchy. But at least one study indicates that 18 percent of the loans in the subprime market went to black borrowers, compared to 5 per cent of loans in the conventional loan market.
In moving, even tentatively, into this new area of lending, Fannie Mae is taking on significantly more risk, which may not pose any difficulties during flush economic times. But the government-subsidized corporation may run into trouble in an economic downturn, prompting a government rescue similar to that of the savings and loan industry in the 1980's.
''From the perspective of many people, including me, this is another thrift industry growing up around us,'' said Peter Wallison a resident fellow at the American Enterprise Institute. ''If they fail, the government will have to step up and bail them out the way it stepped up and bailed out the thrift industry.''
Under Fannie Mae's pilot program, consumers who qualify can secure a mortgage with an interest rate one percentage point above that of a conventional, 30-year fixed rate mortgage of less than $240,000 -- a rate that currently averages about 7.76 per cent. If the borrower makes his or her monthly payments on time for two years, the one percentage point premium is dropped.
Fannie Mae, the nation's biggest underwriter of home mortgages, does not lend money directly to consumers. Instead, it purchases loans that banks make on what is called the secondary market. By expanding the type of loans that it will buy, Fannie Mae is hoping to spur banks to make more loans to people with less-than-stellar credit ratings.
Fannie Mae officials stress that the new mortgages will be extended to all potential borrowers who can qualify for a mortgage. But they add that the move is intended in part to increase the number of minority and low income home owners who tend to have worse credit ratings than non-Hispanic whites.
Home ownership has, in fact, exploded among minorities during the economic boom of the 1990's. The number of mortgages extended to Hispanic applicants jumped by 87.2 per cent from 1993 to 1998, according to Harvard University's Joint Center for Housing Studies. During that same period the number of African Americans who got mortgages to buy a home increased by 71.9 per cent and the number of Asian Americans by 46.3 per cent. In contrast, the number of non-Hispanic whites who received loans for homes increased by 31.2 per cent.
Despite these gains, home ownership rates for minorities continue to lag behind non-Hispanic whites, in part because blacks and Hispanics in particular tend to have on average worse credit ratings.
In July, the Department of Housing and Urban Development proposed that by the year 2001, 50 percent of Fannie Mae's and Freddie Mac's portfolio be made up of loans to low and moderate-income borrowers. Last year, 44 percent of the loans Fannie Mae purchased were from these groups.
The change in policy also comes at the same time that HUD is investigating allegations of racial discrimination in the automated underwriting systems used by Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac to determine the credit-worthiness of credit applicants.
Oct 2, 2008
The Hybrid
I listen to talk radio these days, flip on the TV when I awake at 6, think about things broader than my life, my home, myself. These are living history moments, today and in the days to come.
What will we remember most from 2008=09? Will it be the most historic Presidential election, with the choice of putting a Woman or a African American male in the White House? Or will America's financial industry's embarrassing scope of corruption which fueled the Wall Street and banking/housing debacle and subsequent grotesque bailout overshadow that? Families, it turns out, do not all deserve houses of their own, and that simple truth has taken our nation's economy nearly to its knees.
Legalizing Gay marriage is up for the vote, and that's momentus, but so is being on the brink of the Iraq war becoming a neverending saga. It is likely that auto manufacturers will have to shut down, along with a lot of other businesses whose names are household words: Washington Mutual, Lehman, AIG. How could we let Japan steal our thunder? Didn't WE invent the automobile?
I sat on the edge of my seat during the vice presidential debate tonight, not able to remember if I had ever bothered to tune in before this year. I found myself evaluating Biden and Palin's Commander-in-Chief qualities if their running mate was unable to complete the term of office. Remarkable.
Both candidates said the election is a clear choice. But a good one? McCain and Obama are uncomfortably divergent. I don't trust that they will be able to sit down together and craft solutions to very serious issues in a balanced, moderate way. I know I'd breathe a little easier if some of the candidates had more experience, or more demonstrated leadership over the long haul. When I was in Arizona, McCain did a whole lot of nothing that can be construed as Presidential or Maverick.
I don't want a President who's quick to anger and won't play by the rules even when he should; but I also don't want a wishy washy, Do-Gooder with untried philosophical principles to be played out on the world stage.
What we need is a Hybrid! An innovative, lean and mean, political team prototype that is scarcely reliant on fossil fuel and burns clean. Sleek, efficient and Eco-Friendly, they could effectively maneuver through rough political terrain with the onboard GPS system. Sound on or off, your choice.
What will we remember most from 2008=09? Will it be the most historic Presidential election, with the choice of putting a Woman or a African American male in the White House? Or will America's financial industry's embarrassing scope of corruption which fueled the Wall Street and banking/housing debacle and subsequent grotesque bailout overshadow that? Families, it turns out, do not all deserve houses of their own, and that simple truth has taken our nation's economy nearly to its knees.
Legalizing Gay marriage is up for the vote, and that's momentus, but so is being on the brink of the Iraq war becoming a neverending saga. It is likely that auto manufacturers will have to shut down, along with a lot of other businesses whose names are household words: Washington Mutual, Lehman, AIG. How could we let Japan steal our thunder? Didn't WE invent the automobile?
I sat on the edge of my seat during the vice presidential debate tonight, not able to remember if I had ever bothered to tune in before this year. I found myself evaluating Biden and Palin's Commander-in-Chief qualities if their running mate was unable to complete the term of office. Remarkable.
Both candidates said the election is a clear choice. But a good one? McCain and Obama are uncomfortably divergent. I don't trust that they will be able to sit down together and craft solutions to very serious issues in a balanced, moderate way. I know I'd breathe a little easier if some of the candidates had more experience, or more demonstrated leadership over the long haul. When I was in Arizona, McCain did a whole lot of nothing that can be construed as Presidential or Maverick.
I don't want a President who's quick to anger and won't play by the rules even when he should; but I also don't want a wishy washy, Do-Gooder with untried philosophical principles to be played out on the world stage.
What we need is a Hybrid! An innovative, lean and mean, political team prototype that is scarcely reliant on fossil fuel and burns clean. Sleek, efficient and Eco-Friendly, they could effectively maneuver through rough political terrain with the onboard GPS system. Sound on or off, your choice.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)