Written By Regina Brett, 90 years old, of The Plain Dealer, Cleveland , Ohio
To celebrate growing older, I once wrote the 45 lessons life taught me. It is the most-requested column I've ever written. My odometer rolls over to 90 in August, so here is the column once more:
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.
2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends and parents will. Stay in touch.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
17. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
18. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Over prepare, then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness but you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words 'In five years, will this matter?'
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
36. Growing old beats the alternative -- dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood.
38. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's,we'd grab ours back.
41. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
42. The best is yet to come.
43. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
44. Yield.
45. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift."
May 30, 2009
May 19, 2009
Guarding the Gate
I've had the chance to listen to seniors tell the stories of their lives as they present their Senior Portfolios before graduation day on May 30th. Their stories are poignant and compelling. It is hard to imagine their words, their memories, as they stand before us in high heels and pretty dresses, suit jackets and ties. The air is full of promise, and success, as they finish high school and hold college acceptance letters in their hands. Here in the moment it dramatically illustrates what the impact a loving support group has on the life of a child.
Families seem durable and rugged, but they are not. They are shred by poverty, and violence, indifference, divorce and mental illness. I listen to them, to how they got to this moment and their climb out of a culture of failure that contributed to their journey but did not define it. Here, they put to words the truth of those who took their hand and helped them along. The names of teachers, coaches, pastors, neighbor families, and grandparents fill the room with gratitude and love.
The daughters I have grown to love had an unstable childhood which has dogged them into adulthood. They understand all too well the importance of being Lions Guarding the Gate of their childrens' innocence and breaking the cycle of indifference. I listen gently to their journeys and grieve for them and applaud their courage. The wounds still bleed but I know someday it will stop. They are wonderful parents, these girls. One has raised six children under extreme circumstances and the children continue to thrive. Another has stepped forward to raise her nieces and nephew, although she and her husband have no children of their own. They taught themselves how to sacrifice every day, postpone their own plans, re-route their goals, because they know what not doing it will mean.
This I believe: no child is someone else's problem. It is sometimes inconvenient or complicated to intercede when we see crisis or neglect, but we must. Adults need to become an instrument of change when children need our help. Always, and forever, children come first.
Who knows what a simple outstretched hand will do, a gesture of kindness, a nutritious meal, a trip to the zoo, or a ride to church? If all of us are charged with being Lions, children will receive the love, support, dignity and respect they deserve. No one knows better than these high schoolers where they would be without it.
Families seem durable and rugged, but they are not. They are shred by poverty, and violence, indifference, divorce and mental illness. I listen to them, to how they got to this moment and their climb out of a culture of failure that contributed to their journey but did not define it. Here, they put to words the truth of those who took their hand and helped them along. The names of teachers, coaches, pastors, neighbor families, and grandparents fill the room with gratitude and love.
The daughters I have grown to love had an unstable childhood which has dogged them into adulthood. They understand all too well the importance of being Lions Guarding the Gate of their childrens' innocence and breaking the cycle of indifference. I listen gently to their journeys and grieve for them and applaud their courage. The wounds still bleed but I know someday it will stop. They are wonderful parents, these girls. One has raised six children under extreme circumstances and the children continue to thrive. Another has stepped forward to raise her nieces and nephew, although she and her husband have no children of their own. They taught themselves how to sacrifice every day, postpone their own plans, re-route their goals, because they know what not doing it will mean.
This I believe: no child is someone else's problem. It is sometimes inconvenient or complicated to intercede when we see crisis or neglect, but we must. Adults need to become an instrument of change when children need our help. Always, and forever, children come first.
Who knows what a simple outstretched hand will do, a gesture of kindness, a nutritious meal, a trip to the zoo, or a ride to church? If all of us are charged with being Lions, children will receive the love, support, dignity and respect they deserve. No one knows better than these high schoolers where they would be without it.
May 13, 2009
Feet in the Pool
I miss blogging. Like something pulling you from a comfortable sleep, it takes a while to come around to what it is that disturbed you. I've carved out some leisure reading time and already gulped down two books. House projects, here and in Elk Grove, are taking shape. I'm particularly excited about painting the house, putting up window boxes and awnings.
Family plans dominate the rest of the time.
On the horizon: two granddaughter wedding, three niece/nephew graduations, the 21st birthday for my son and my best friend's birthday. I'm tossing back what I've taken over the past couple of years, pounds-wise. (Already lost 5) There's no better diet incentive than to make plans to see friends you haven't seen in a while (thank you Jeff and Susan, Jen and Jeannette!!!).
Mother's Day was in high spirits, lots of laughter and storytelling. Work seems busier than ever, the library is taking shape (especially the teacher resource room) and I'm scurrying around doing a lot of different things that I like. Mike has a big race coming up over Memorial weekend in Sparks, NV. You should check out his blog - it's a riot: http://iwannaroc.blogspot.com/
The dove couple has two eggs in the nest under the eaves and we co-habitate nicely. Our red, white, and blue toned Beta fighting fish (Patriot) is in his 5th year and going strong. We will obviously spend more time with the grandkids, and the kids, now that summer is here. I'll just blog with the laptop propped on my knees and my feet in the pool.
Family plans dominate the rest of the time.
On the horizon: two granddaughter wedding, three niece/nephew graduations, the 21st birthday for my son and my best friend's birthday. I'm tossing back what I've taken over the past couple of years, pounds-wise. (Already lost 5) There's no better diet incentive than to make plans to see friends you haven't seen in a while (thank you Jeff and Susan, Jen and Jeannette!!!).
Mother's Day was in high spirits, lots of laughter and storytelling. Work seems busier than ever, the library is taking shape (especially the teacher resource room) and I'm scurrying around doing a lot of different things that I like. Mike has a big race coming up over Memorial weekend in Sparks, NV. You should check out his blog - it's a riot: http://iwannaroc.blogspot.com/
The dove couple has two eggs in the nest under the eaves and we co-habitate nicely. Our red, white, and blue toned Beta fighting fish (Patriot) is in his 5th year and going strong. We will obviously spend more time with the grandkids, and the kids, now that summer is here. I'll just blog with the laptop propped on my knees and my feet in the pool.
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