There are so many firsts in my life these days, it's hard to count them up. They shout life's upside with abundance and hope. I don't know why I keep expecting things to settle down: first I thought it would be after the holidays, then after New Years and the February wedding, or in March after Aiyana's birthday or David's. But life's excitement just bubbles up like a spring, easy to share a cup and pass on love and appreciation even in these troubling times.
There have been moments in the last decade when it was really important that I change course and focus inwardly on the family. I wouldn't have seen the signs myself but somehow the way was paved for me just at the right time. Some of my friends think it was luck (or bad luck) but I recognize God active in my life and Him giving me a little nudge in the right direction. I don't believe in luck.
And so this year when I was downsized, as shocked as I was with my many contributions, I wondered what blessings would be in store. And true to form, life began to significantly change as we weathered a family crisis and unexpected opportunities to appreciate and help those we love. That's a total God thing.
I do miss earning money, to be part of a work environment and know my contributions are tangible. But on so many levels life has been filled with wonderful things to do and learn, like rediscovering the joy of simplifying life and separating needs from wants, and living life on a more honest and selfless level.
There will be a time to work again and when it comes I will embrace it. But I will always remember this time between gigs for making our home and hearts more lived-in and loved.
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