But this quote ...
In the quiet, there is the song of the butterfly.
Sep 30, 2011
The Song of the Butterfly
"The secret is not to chase the butterflies...but to take good care of the garden, so they come to you." Mario Quintana
The simple of art of patience; letting it ride; planting the crop and waiting for the yield.
Maybe the Industrial Revolution is to blame for revving things up, helping the world spin faster, as we rush our way through a world where pushing your weight against something long enough means it goes your way.
But this quote ...
Tend your garden to draw what you want to attract. Build it with conscious forethought and considerateness. Our gardens are supposed to be uniquely ours. Honest. Graceful. Imaginative. Unpredictable. A little wild.
It whispers, 'Leave the hurrying to others, even in California where it seems impossible. There are quieter routes, and time enough to appreciate everyone's gardens. Feel the serenity; know the peace. '
In the quiet, there is the song of the butterfly.
But this quote ...
In the quiet, there is the song of the butterfly.
Sep 28, 2011
Go With The Flow
Company gives us an opportunity to reflect on what was and what is, and I've got plenty to say about it not always being a flattering comparison. In the worst case scenario you invite people into your home because you used to know them, and lend them your life before you realize you don't.
That happened years ago with a high school friend. She was coming to Phoenix for a wedding and had a husband and kids in tow. I was an at-home mom and set up for kids with two of my own. We had extra room so of course said they could stay. My friend and I traveled across country together and I felt I knew her, although we had lost touch after high school and she had converted to and married a Mormon in the ensuing years.
It was exciting to meet her husband and little ones, 2 1/2 and 7 months. Between them, there was 1 in diapers and two potty training. She only asked for me to watch them for 3 hours during the wedding, and I agreed.
We gave them our master bedroom which was bigger because they had the little ones and slept in the guest room. Big mistake. They concluded from that they were on vacation. I was forever running around getting towels for the pool, making snacks and meals, cleaning up rooms and changing diapers.
On the wedding day, they took their infant and headed out. Their toddler obviously had never heard the word no before so there were a lot of behaviors that were hard to handle: pouring red juice on the carpet, picking up and throwing whatever he wanted, with my kids looking on. Needless to say, I was anxious for their return. But they did not return. In fact, they were gone for many more hours than what we had agreed, only to return with the intention of dropping off the baby and heading back out.
As the hours ticked by I became increasingly resentful and fatigued. I had not seen my friend in a decade at least, and the entire time we spent together consisted of a late Friday arrival, a quick swim with the kids on Saturday morning, and 7 hours babysitting her son while they socialized with their Mormon friends.
I realized midway through Saturday that she would not have reconnected had we not been able to offer them a free place to stay. I was feeling mad, not just about their inconsiderateness but because of my disappointment. In my head, I thought it would be more. No wonder they were shocked to hear me speak up for myself.
I learned an important lesson that day. It is always about perspective. All she expected was a place to stay and someone trustworthy to watch her kid so they could hang out with the people they came to see. I assumed more.
So this Cardinal Rule is laced with wisdom: Promise nothing and keep it short and sweet.
That happened years ago with a high school friend. She was coming to Phoenix for a wedding and had a husband and kids in tow. I was an at-home mom and set up for kids with two of my own. We had extra room so of course said they could stay. My friend and I traveled across country together and I felt I knew her, although we had lost touch after high school and she had converted to and married a Mormon in the ensuing years.
It was exciting to meet her husband and little ones, 2 1/2 and 7 months. Between them, there was 1 in diapers and two potty training. She only asked for me to watch them for 3 hours during the wedding, and I agreed.
We gave them our master bedroom which was bigger because they had the little ones and slept in the guest room. Big mistake. They concluded from that they were on vacation. I was forever running around getting towels for the pool, making snacks and meals, cleaning up rooms and changing diapers.
On the wedding day, they took their infant and headed out. Their toddler obviously had never heard the word no before so there were a lot of behaviors that were hard to handle: pouring red juice on the carpet, picking up and throwing whatever he wanted, with my kids looking on. Needless to say, I was anxious for their return. But they did not return. In fact, they were gone for many more hours than what we had agreed, only to return with the intention of dropping off the baby and heading back out.
As the hours ticked by I became increasingly resentful and fatigued. I had not seen my friend in a decade at least, and the entire time we spent together consisted of a late Friday arrival, a quick swim with the kids on Saturday morning, and 7 hours babysitting her son while they socialized with their Mormon friends.
I realized midway through Saturday that she would not have reconnected had we not been able to offer them a free place to stay. I was feeling mad, not just about their inconsiderateness but because of my disappointment. In my head, I thought it would be more. No wonder they were shocked to hear me speak up for myself.
I learned an important lesson that day. It is always about perspective. All she expected was a place to stay and someone trustworthy to watch her kid so they could hang out with the people they came to see. I assumed more.
So this Cardinal Rule is laced with wisdom: Promise nothing and keep it short and sweet.
Sep 27, 2011
It All Flows Downstream
I've been thinking about how easy it is to talk yourself into stuff. Unimportant stuff like an ice cream cone or treating yourself to a pedicure even though you know the nail polish hasn't chipped. But sometimes more important stuff, too.
I spent a lot of years in my former life talking myself into a better reality than what was there. And when the kids came along, bump bump bump, I just decided one day that the LeaveItToBeaver life is what we deserved and needed.
I picked up my family and ran with it. Full tilt, towards camping and cub scouts and volunteering, and hanging out with neighbors until 10pm while the kids played street hockey. I'm sure my previous thought he had entered the twilight zone after long trips away when he was greeted with kids in every room and cookie crumbs and blankets strewn around.
Life worked out pretty well for the most part. And given enough time, life normalized there in that happy and normal place where the in-or-out kind of pivotal decision felt like no decision at all. Of course it wouldn't: I had already made my choice.
And so I excluded whatever tore at the fabric of my family. That unfortunately included my previous. Obviously problems arose and cracks formed around the foundation when Things Happened. And Things Happened with great regularity. Some people got away with things they shouldn't have. Some people gave up on caring about what really mattered. And some people pretended like it wasn't happening.
But you know, for all my failings as a wife for opting out, I have no regrets. My sons had no choice into whose family they were born, and their tender hearts were counting on me to do right by them. And free will being what it is, my previous had a host of better choices he could have made. He lived the life he wanted, and maybe I just had the good sense to step out of his way.
I spent a lot of years in my former life talking myself into a better reality than what was there. And when the kids came along, bump bump bump, I just decided one day that the LeaveItToBeaver life is what we deserved and needed.
I picked up my family and ran with it. Full tilt, towards camping and cub scouts and volunteering, and hanging out with neighbors until 10pm while the kids played street hockey. I'm sure my previous thought he had entered the twilight zone after long trips away when he was greeted with kids in every room and cookie crumbs and blankets strewn around.
Life worked out pretty well for the most part. And given enough time, life normalized there in that happy and normal place where the in-or-out kind of pivotal decision felt like no decision at all. Of course it wouldn't: I had already made my choice.
And so I excluded whatever tore at the fabric of my family. That unfortunately included my previous. Obviously problems arose and cracks formed around the foundation when Things Happened. And Things Happened with great regularity. Some people got away with things they shouldn't have. Some people gave up on caring about what really mattered. And some people pretended like it wasn't happening.
But you know, for all my failings as a wife for opting out, I have no regrets. My sons had no choice into whose family they were born, and their tender hearts were counting on me to do right by them. And free will being what it is, my previous had a host of better choices he could have made. He lived the life he wanted, and maybe I just had the good sense to step out of his way.
Sep 16, 2011
A Kibble Snack
So we were standing at the counter peering down at the third -- and hopefully last -- type of food that won't upset our pup's sensitive stomach. Everyone weighed in on the subject, and the one with the most votes was Nutro Max Organic chicken and brown rice.
My husband mentioned how much they look like cheerios and wondered what one would taste like. We both smelled the bag. Oh what the heck, I will if you will, and we each grabbed a kibble and munched it down. Not bad. Probably good over vanilla ice cream.
Ok so now we're officially in the wierd owner category, at least with those willing to admit the goofy things they do. I don't know anyone who measures their dog's height in the closet but just so you know, she has grown 2" in two weeks. And that helped us know to buy a 6' tall fence for the run.
Setting her up with the right habits is important. That cute habit of leaping into your arms is going to bowl you over when she's grown. And this potty training business makes us crazy, but slowly and surely we are progressing. We, as in we humans, have to be clear and consistent for her to know what to do.
We gave her a Kong puppy sized frisbee and she runs with it nearly dragging on the ground. She already flips it with her paws and takes off in anticipation of where it will land. And she loves the chuck it tennis ball. This is going to be fun at a dog park once her shots are done.
Puppies bring out the best in us. Already we can't imagine life without her.
My husband mentioned how much they look like cheerios and wondered what one would taste like. We both smelled the bag. Oh what the heck, I will if you will, and we each grabbed a kibble and munched it down. Not bad. Probably good over vanilla ice cream.
Ok so now we're officially in the wierd owner category, at least with those willing to admit the goofy things they do. I don't know anyone who measures their dog's height in the closet but just so you know, she has grown 2" in two weeks. And that helped us know to buy a 6' tall fence for the run.
Setting her up with the right habits is important. That cute habit of leaping into your arms is going to bowl you over when she's grown. And this potty training business makes us crazy, but slowly and surely we are progressing. We, as in we humans, have to be clear and consistent for her to know what to do.
We gave her a Kong puppy sized frisbee and she runs with it nearly dragging on the ground. She already flips it with her paws and takes off in anticipation of where it will land. And she loves the chuck it tennis ball. This is going to be fun at a dog park once her shots are done.
Puppies bring out the best in us. Already we can't imagine life without her.
Sep 6, 2011
Puppy Up
Have you ever noticed that when something new enters your life it makes everything else completely different? That is definitely the case for baby anythings, and being well past the point human babies, I am referring to the addition of Samantha the Wonderpup. She is an amazingly hopeful little bundle of fangs and energy. We have been trying to look at everything through her eyes and get it out of her way! Puppy-proofing is a lot like baby-proofing, only moreso. With the 7-to-1 yr development ratio, a 10 week old pup is a toddler with 4 on the floor, a chewing machine that has to taste, smell, pick up and run with everything she finds.
We have the kind of living room furniture that will age gracefully over the next 50 years, something we saved a long time to own. When we bought the leather easy chairs and sofa, we also bought the extended warranty for 3 years ... and we'll be digging out that policy to read the fine print. What I really want to do is cover them with tie straps and moving blankets.
Now when you walk into the house, everything above the knee is stacked with stuff from below the knee. And we are searching for higher ground. We spent the weekend designing dog runs, debating the merits of different dog houses and finding a really good vet. She is like a hybrid of favorite dogs ~ Sophie's intelligence, Lucy's coloring and eyeliner, Daisy's loyalty, and Corky's friendliness. (Don't tell me if you think I am projecting.)
No one can believe it. A puppy. At the Bushners. As one of the kids remarked, "Did Hell freeze over? Is that a puppy I see in the yard?"
My husband's reply pretty much sums it up: "We couldn't help it. It was love at first sight."
Sep 2, 2011
The New Kid on the Block
This morning we awoke to silence and realized it is the last morning it will be like that for about 10 years. Surprise!! Meet Samantha, or Sam.
She was found digging through the trash by a friend of a friend. He took her home - fed her, bathed her, took her to the vet and checked her out, verified she was reasonably healthy, treated her for worms and fleas - and made efforts to find her owner. Astonishingly nobody came forward during the week. Although he has fallen in love with her, his family is pretty full already with little ones and another dog with health issues.
Our friend knew we were looking for a dog and forwarded on the pics and the moment we saw her, that was it. Sammy is about 10 weeks old, the vet thinks part lab and part golden retriever. We now know pet stores are open til 9 on weeknights. The first of many puppyworld adventures on this steep learning curve ... :)
We pick her up this afternoon. Serendipity rocks!!
Have a great holiday weekend! We will be Sam-proofing our world and figuring out this potty training business. Visiting hours are Saturday and Sunday, noon to 4. Puppy-rearing tips welcome.
:) :) :)
We pick her up this afternoon. Serendipity rocks!!
:) :) :)
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