Dec 27, 2008

No Man is an Island

A friend of mine was offended because I wrote about a man I happened to meet who was intentionally walking away from his house. He was boasting to virtual strangers (us) that his wife's retirement and his salary are very good but since the economic downturn was the fault of the banks, he had the right to make them take it back. The right.

He bragged about knowing all the strategies to defraud the lender. Since some of the bailout money is coming out of my pocket, I am entitled to an opinion. I have the right to disagree when I know consumerism is about individual choice and individual responsibility. I have the right to be offended, and to say I am, even if others disagree. And I was and I am, for anyone who betters himself at the expense of the rest.

There is a lot of pain and suffering right now, innocent people being hurt in this fledgling economy. My heart goes out to those duped into believing they could afford things they clearly could not. There is appreciation in the people I meet, for a job, money in the bank, and stability even just in the moment. Humility is in the air.

Which was why this man's attitude was so offensive. As a country, where would we be and how would we survive if everyone did that? John Donne came to mind and I believe this to be true:

No man is an island, entire of itself.
Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less
As well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were.
Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls:
It tolls for thee.

Dec 24, 2008

The Card

The family is expanding, and I'm going on a diet right after the holidays! But I mean, really, it is expanding.

Don and Jami have a basket of two daughters, two son in laws and four grandchildren. My basket now includes Erika, who is like a daughter, so our basket comfortably accommodates her two brothers, and parents. Randy's brothers and families include 11 more, not counting Aunts and Uncles and cousins which number in the low 20's. And to add Randy's brood is another 19 more. Does anyone have a calculator?!

Let's suffice it to say, the days of not needing to add a leaf to the holiday table are over. As such, we have had to be a little creative with family cluster gathering this year.

There is always a favorite moment in the day when I stop and look around and give thanks for the playful banter and laughter of a family gathered together. But this year just seemed especially joyful, with additions to the family tucked happily inside. The time we take to pause from our hectic lives is the real gift, but it's fun to watch the faces as we open each other's thoughtfulness being unwrapped.

Let's face it: there's always a favorite gift. This year, it was the card that was on the tree from my son. Can you believe he was thanking me for my love and support these years and how glad he was to see me happy. He said it was good to see me taking care of myself after all the years of taking care of him and his brothers.

Oh honey! It's always been a joy being your mother and that will never change. No matter where life leads us, I will always be there for you. Always.

Focus and Breathe!

I was watching the family last night, struck by transitioning lives as the new generation struggles free. Last Christmases for some, weddings, illnesses, and everyone was feeling the pinch of life striking out on its own. There were tears of joy and sorrow, struggles for others, but the undercurrent was change in all of its challenging and intimidating forms.

So many things about life are hard. Take for instance watching friends struggle with the sudden stilling of their business phones in this economy; laying to rest a beloved friend; accepting when a friend's life no longer intersect as it once did. There's a bitter spot at the bottom of your stomach when you know, you just know, the gig is up. Even before the emotional books balance, you begin to yield to what will come. It's easy to feel like life is a let down.

But last night, I listened to a duet of What Child Is This on the electric guitar and piano (grandma and grandson) that was amazing. I felt the warmth and thanksgiving of the family gathering and in the eyes of a happy teenager. I watched little ones clomping around wearing the Bride's shoes, playing hide and seek in the walk in closet, and picking off the good stuff on the top of the pizza. I was part of a family providing comfort to one another because work and home emergencies have taken their toll. I was moved.

What a great reminder that the only value that matters is our own internal assessment and place in the world. Yeah, it would be great to be hailed as the Next Big Thing, have an easy life and public accolades to stroke our egos. But when it's just you and God, it's how we mark our time that matters, the bridges we build, the lives we touch, the lessons we learn and pass on. A job is a job is a job, and we need them to get by. But Family, God's Blessings, Love, Health, now those things are worthy of prayer.

We are so blessed to have loving families and friends to stand with. As Colette used to say, we'll get through this: now focus and breathe!

With the contraction of our economy, our lives, our jobs, and our hope, I think that is excellent advice.

Dec 18, 2008

Bidding Adieu

Day 13:

All packed and ready to go, we dropped Flat Stanley with the US Post Office on the way to work. We double checked he had his itinerary, clothes and his little surprise. After that sushi dinner last night, we left him with extra change for postage, too!

It is always sad to say goodbye, but Flat Stanley was very excited to surprise Joey by being home by Christmas eve. We told him we would track his trip back online so we can imagine his adventures as he makes his way back to Florida.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Love,
Your family in California

Dec 17, 2008

Stan's Stand on Sushi

(This is me in front of Griffith Observatory in Southern California)

Day 12:

No visit to California is complete without a dinner at Hisui, so after work we took him to our favorite Japanese restaurant in Fairfield. Have you ever had sushi? Flat Stanley hadn’t either, but we reassured him that if he tried it and didn’t like it, he could have something else on the menu like chicken teriyaki or tempura.

Flat Stanley liked the place right away! The first thing he saw was a stone fountain with koi fish (they look like fancy gold fish but are really big) and two turtles swimming around. We let him hang over the edge and held onto his feet so he didn’t fall in.

There is an interesting part of the restaurant where Japanese chefs cook dinner right at the tables (Hibachi cooking), and that is fun, too, but we were headed for the sushi bar. We know the owner and the sushi chef very well, and they seated us right away. At the sushi bar, there is a long oval counter with stools and in front is a moat filled with water. The sushi chef stands inside the circle and makes all types of sushi and puts it on plates on the little boats and they float along the moat with the food. If you see something you want, you take the plate and put it in front of you. It’s THAT easy!

Well, when Flat Stanley got a load of the boats, he got so excited he jumped right onto an open spot and floated away! We had to walk down to pluck him off the boat and explain it is only for food.

We tried a lot of sushi after that, and Flat Stanley really liked the rice and the cooked shrimp (ebi) but wasn’t wild about the tuna (maguro) or salmon (sake). He liked eel (unagi) a LOT and the California roll (avocado, crab, cucumber rolled in rice). He also liked gari, which is thinly sliced ginger used as a garnish. For dessert, we all tried a fried banana, which is a little slice of banana quickly deep fried and drizzled with powdered sugar and plum sauce. We all left very happy and full.

(This is Randy with his favorite Aunt, Aunt Norma. She is Randy's mother's sister and he misses his mom so he spends a lot of time with her. )

Dec 16, 2008

The DeGol Family Park

Day 10:

Around the corner from the house is a neighborhood park which Joey and his brother and sister visited when they were here. It has things to climb on, and a xylophone made of wood, and slides and rope bridges. It was a beautiful day today, sunny and about 65 degrees, so Flat Stanley went there in the afternoon and had a lot of fun running around and working off some energy. Around here, we call it the DeGol Family Park because we were the only ones there.

After he returned from the park, he asked for a tour of the Bat Cave. It’s not really a cave, it’s a room in the house, but it is very full of interesting things from floor to ceiling so it feels like another world.

Randy and Flat Stanley talked a long time about music and sports, two interesting topics, and Flat Stanley picked out something for Joey. There were all sorts of wonderful vintage pictures of San Francisco to talk about, and lots of books to see. He liked The Beatles a LOT! But his favorite thing in the whole room was a bell casted in 1936 for the Queen Mary.

The Queen Mary is a luxury liner ship that is now docked in the Port of Long Beach Harbor, and is on display. Long Beach is a town at the bottom of the state. A friend worked on the docks and when the ship was renovated, he was given the bell as a gift. When you pull on the rope, it makes a very loud and clear ring.

Flat Stanley was a little sad this evening, and we asked why. Although it has been a great adventure, he was feeling a little homesick. We talked a while about Christmas and made a big decision on when he should head home.

Day 11:

Flat Stanley has been noticing that California's geography is very diverse, meaning there are a lot of different things to see. We have valleys and foothills and mountains and lakes and rivers, and one whole side of the state touches the Pacific Ocean. We explained this much diversity attracts a diversity of people, as you might expect, and California is known for that.

There are big cities for business, and rich agricultural land for farmers and cattle ranchers. Surfers and mountain climbers and environmentalists come for the beauty and mild climate. We have immigrants and tourists, just like he does in Florida.

Woodland is a suburb about 35 minutes north of the capital (Sacramento). It is called the 'City of Trees' because we have 10,000 trees! It has a nice downtown with restaurants and shops and is surrounded by open land. When you drive out of town, there are little fruit stands along the way selling freshly grown fruits and vegetables. If you ever have eaten a strawberry that has been warmed by the sun and just picked, you know how different it tastes than store-bought ones. Flat Stanley had TWO bites, it was so good.

Ten minutes away is Davis, which is the home of a very famous university and medical facility. Have you ever heard of the UC Davis Medical Center or the University of California, Davis? The college is best known for its Veterinary Sciences program. The medical center is one of the best teaching hospitals in the world.

Dec 13, 2008

Stanley, the Scientist


Day 7:

Today, everywhere in the world, we were told the moon was at its closest distance to the earth. So of course Flat Stanley wanted to take a better look so after work we headed outside with a telescope. Once it was set up and adjusted, we had to wait a while because of cloud cover but the waiting paid off. The moon looked really big just looking at it, but when Flat Stanley looked in the telescope, well he was amazed to see all sorts of detail on the moon, craters and valleys and little mountains.


Randy told Flat Stanley all about the lunar landing in 1969 and the Sea of Tranquility. We were hoping to identify the Sea of Tranquility with the telescope and we DID! So Flat Stanley, on this day (December 12, 2008) saw the exact spot where Commander Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon for the very first time! That seemed like a long time ago to Flat Stanley, but Randy and I remember it like it was yesterday.



Day 8:


It was time for Randy to put up Christmas lights on the house. Can you believe he’s this old and hasn’t EVER put up Christmas lights before? Well, that’s absolutely true. Flat Stanley told him not to feel bad, he hasn’t put up lights, either, and so the two of them decided to work together. It was very foggy out and the air feels extra chilly when it looks gray and thick but they kept at it, putting up clips and spacing the lights just the way I like them. The house is now ready for Christmas! I made them hot chocolate as a thank you before we tackled the next project of decorating the tree.

The tree was already in the tree stand and filled with water, so we put on lights. Then we opened all the ornament boxes and admired each one as their stories were told. Flat Stanley climbed around in the tree and found just the right spot for each of them. Some had Joey’s cousins’ pictures from when they were his age. Some were from places we had been. Flat Stanley learned that Christmas ornaments are like looking at the happiest parts of a family’s life hanging on a tree.


Day 9:


Well it’s officially cookie season and you know what THAT means – it’s time to get to work making sugar and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, toffee bars and other goodies that make the house smell yummy. We want to have lots of things to eat when friends and family come over. Flat Stanley had a blast mixing the ingredients and baking the cookies and eating them, too. He liked cracking the egg over the bowl with a karate chop – hiYah! He liked sprinkling the cookies with cinnamon sugar. Don’t worry, Joey, we’ll put extra postage on the envelope when Flat Stanley heads home.


Flat Stanley the Worker Bee


Day 4:

Flat Stanley got up before me this morning, but we made it to work on time. Today was a busy day helping parents and students. We had one emergency call to 9-1-1 for a student who was doing jumping jacks and passed out right in class. We were worried until the Paramedics arrived. They took her in an ambulance with her mother just to check her out, and her mom called later to say she was okay.


After work we went to the Christmas potluck at an art gallery around the corner from the school. It is named 40 Acres Art Gallery and our students' artwork was up all around. Before we ate, an important man spoke to all of us, the man who imagined the school and worked hard to make it real. I will give you a hint: He was also a famous basketball player and played for the Phoenix Suns in the 1980s and 1990s when we lived in Arizona.


Have you guessed who it is yet? Why it's Mr. Kevin Johnson! And guess what else: Mr. Johnson is the newly elected Mayor of Sacramento but he still made time to stop in at our Christmas party to say hello. He is a very good man who has made a big difference. Flat Stanley didn't get to meet him but he did see him.


Day 5:


Flat Stanley was tired, so he decided to stay home with Sophie our Boxer. No, not a Boxer fighter, a DOG! Sophie and he hung out in the garage with snacks. The garage is piled high with all sorts of interesting things we are selling at a garage sale, so I told Flat Stanley he could look around all he wanted. Just be careful not to get stuck in a box!

There was a little bit of ice on the windshield this morning, can you believe that? Sophie hasn't been feeling very well lately, so I left them with blankets in case they were chilly. The pool guy came today and petted Sophie a while. He had to replace the pump and seals on the motor for the hot tub so Sophie and Flat Stanley hung out watching him work. After he left, George the neighbor came over and locked the gate and gave them a couple more snacks.


Day 6:


Flat Stanley had to drag his tired body out of bed this morning reeeeeaalllly early to go to work with Randy at 4:55 am!! He said it felt like it was the middle of the night. Flat Stanley perked up once he had a cup of java (that's 'Randy lingo' for coffee). The coffee Randy makes is sent 'specially from San Francisco's North Beach – the Italian District. Randy tells everyone Graffeo's coffee is the best in the WORLD!


Flat Stanley hadn't ever been to a company that sells roll up doors before. They make them in Mountaintop, Pennsylvania, but Randy sells them to places like Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, Port of San Francisco on the docks, and Treasure Island. Treasure Island is where they held the 1939 Worlds Fair and is in the middle of San Francisco Bay.


Randy had six jobs to bid (that is a LOT for one day) so Flat Stanley helped him with phone calls and crunching numbers on the calculator. They got it all done, though! Sales are up, thanks to Flat Stanley's hard work!


A lot of Randy's co-workers introduced themselves but there was one big SURPRISE in store: Joey's cousin Tim works there, too, and so they hung out together in the shop. After a long day at work, the boys headed home at 2:30. That seems early, but do you remember what time they left for work? Flat Stanley was so tired, he conked out right after dinner. He didn't even stay up for ice cream.


In new adventures, Flat Stanley will discover the moon and make cookies ...





Flat Stanley

My cousin's son, Joey from Florida, sent us a paper doll from his 3rd grade class named Flat Stanley, asking us to host him and journal his adventures. Thanks for picking us, Joey! We are enjoying having him as a visitor and he will return to Joey and his class with a lot of stories and memories to share.

And so, without further ado, I hope you enjoy the Wonderful, Marvelous, Fantabulous Adventures of Flat Stanley on the Occasion of his Sojourn to California, 2008.


Day 1:

Flat Stanley breezed into Woodland, CA, flat broke and owing money (26 cents, to be exact). He did admit to eating a big hamburger on the trip and maybe that is why he was heavier on arrival than he was on departure.


He had an incredible trip, being tossed around in different cities and getting to know fellow travelers on the airline flight which, amazingly, was ON TIME!


Flat Stanley's luggage was lost en route so first up was making him a sleeping bag and warm clothes for his visit. By the time the airline finds his luggage, he'll probably be ready for home.

Day 2:

After a good night's sleep, Flat Stanley traveled with us to hunt for Christmas presents. He snacked on free samples at Costco, helped us order gift cards at Target for the grandchildren, and looked for a Christmas tree.

He liked the scrawny one that was on sale, but we told him NO! This year we're going all out on the beautiful full one to set near the fireplace, in honor of his visit. After all, how many times do we have out of state friends of the family visiting for Christmas?

Day 3:

Flat Stanley and I went to work together. I work in a high school in Sacramento, CA. It is a charter school which just opened another similar school in Harlem. This school helps students of all nationalities who want to work hard and go to college. It is in Oak Park, CA, where a lot of poor people live.


Flat Stanley was amazed by the diversity of the people he met. He had to be in uniform in order to come for a visit, so I made him a set in his size. At our school, all students – boys and girls – wear the same shirts, slacks and sweatshirts. It keeps them focused on working hard and the clothes are very affordable and durable, and the families appreciate that.


Stay posted for more of Flat Stanley's adventures when he hangs out with Sophie the Wonderdog and meets the Mayor.







Dec 8, 2008

Dust

It filters down from above, in our hair, shoulders, hands. The air is loaded with it, grainy and rough, carried on the strands of sunlight, blocking it with the grime and grit. I shield my eyes to glance up at the shards being swept off the edge and hear the quiet tap tap tap of life chipping away.

People are hunched over now, covering their noses and mouths with cloth from their shirts, dust accumulating in the creases of their exposed necks. They begin to wander around seeking cover, under a tree perhaps or awning, and try in vain to dust themselves off and also their companions' backs where they can't reach. Familiar things look unfamiliar as it is blanketed by the erosion of life.

My 401K - down 48%, to the original investment of 1999. Jobs in the balance, young people filled with dread. Even if we compassionately fall short of the doomsdayer projections of total economic collapse, it's unsettling to watch things erode. We now know we will all suffer for the blind ambition and unchecked greed of a few. We are here again because our country has not yet learned the lesson it needs to learn.

The best kind of national infrastructure is faith based, that is to say honoring and valuing that which is unseen. We the People believe it is there to sustain us without feeling confined by it. The lives we know and cherish, the freedoms we have so arrogantly come to complacently expect, is transforming. What will it be like, I wonder, and how long will we have to wait until the dust settles?