The Game of Life

A friend suggested that for a blog to be read, one needs to have something interesting to read, and I quite agree. Another is convinced that a blog is little more than a diary that serves a purpose for the writer, and no one else.

My little blog is definitely more of the latter, completely unencumbered by visibility in a corner on the world wide web. I have changed its name 5 times and moved it twice for just that reason, intended for a close circle of friends, and whomever else happens to click on it accidentally.

There is no audience to consider or please; no content to fret about, other than maintaining some basic sense of honesty in writing down the lessons, remorsefulness, gratefulness and joy that lifts the grain.

It didn't start out that way. I had counters to see the traffic and interest, even where the readers resided. I was interested in what they thought. Every story was crafted as a piece of reflective art, an essay 'published' for the world to enjoy clever and purposeful writing. I loved spending my days finding just the right word in the right sentence to make the writing efficient and poignant.

Those early years were barren of meaningful things in my life, and that very good writing was a very good filler.  In the years since, I have come to realize most writers are motivated by a) something to link to (reunion info, family info to span long distances); b) a talent to share (music, art, science, photography, travel); c) a strong opinion(historical, social, political); d) something to teach, or e) to find a voice.

I am glad that life is wont to change, because I needed it in a big way. My little blog and I clung to each other through the churning waters that freed my world from the drag of what was pulling me under. All sorts of transitions had to happen in order to purge what had to go and make good on the rest.

A huge part of the change came symbolically when I started using my maiden name as part of my last name. A friend challenged that I was pretending the married years didn't happen. That wasn't it, not at all!  But it was time to get out from under the shadow of those years, and regain the half of my life that I most authentically associate with. And now, in marriage, my maiden name has become my formal middle name for just that reason.

There were humiliating losses and wisened, bloody gains but this journey is mine to reflect on and appreciate when I need a boost. And that, for me, is what blogging is all about.