To What End?

"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia." -- Charles Schultz

This was in my inbox today, sent by a friend who knew it would make me smile. We communicate this way now, friends just forwarding along little jokes to enjoy. I do it, too, when someone needs a pick-me-up or I know their style of humor well enough that it will be appreciated. As I type their name on the forward, I imagine their face as it spreads into a grin as mine had done.

It is not perceived that way. Quite the opposite. Jokes are impersonal especially when there is no note attached. They are irritating. We don't see the connective moment when it was sent, that we were in their thoughts. All we see is our name tagged onto a long chain of others, and we feel unimportant.

What is the point of communication: devoted time. And so the lesson here is that there is no substitute for grabbing lunch and lingering over a deep conversation, to know every square inch of your best friend's kitchen, to have memorized the cadence of their voice as it rises and falls with stories about life and what's important.  I still love it when  my ear gets hot from a 2 hour phone call with the clang of dinner dishes being loaded in the dishwasher and family life going on in the background. I long to look into the eyes of the people I love, and notice if they are more fit and how they are wearing their hair. Are my favorite smile lines still there around their eyes?

But the net tries to strip that from us, to offer itself as a substitute. Because of texting, no one calls. Because of email, no one writes. Because of photo uploads, no one sits in each other's livingrooms and enjoys photos of a recent trip. We have the electronic option now of not spending time on each other, with each other, nurturing and devoting ourselves with the gift of our time. This pace of life does not bring depth and quality to our days, if we use it as a true substitute. We are so rushed with news and work and daily chores that we scarcely have a moment to forward a joke to the people that make our world a better place.

To what end?