One of the best parts of getting older is to be in the position of lending a hand now and again. It is an equal blessing. Luck and circumstance have a lot to do with being able to say and do this, and it is a good reminder how extraordinary it is to be part of an all-in family.
Being in a position to help the kids from time to time is one of my greatest joys. Everyone needs a hand, and growing up I certainly did. But my lessons about borrowing money involved people who had an agenda to the gift, and the fine print that bought them extra privileges in my life.
Some loaners use money to buy admission. It usually happened with a bigger loan for a down on a car or money to finish school. All of a sudden they have opinions about your life and expect to see you whenever they want. They feel they have paid to have a more impactful role in your life. By the time you realize there were terms to the loan, it's too late.
Things come up like, "Oh I understand, I set aside the whole day for you but that's okay, you go ahead and spend it at your cousin's house. How's the car running with the new engine?" Or, "You don't seem very grateful for all the things I've done for you. I'm not asking much for the family to spend Christmas day with me again this year."
Anyone borrowing for debt consolidation forever are advised and judged on the things they buy and their lifestyle choices.
Ours is more of a co-op style with helper loans. The kids have to match funds and have some skin in the game. They are asked to repay when they can. So essentially we are partnering with our adult children to empower fiscal responsibility. There are so many good lessons for a family who focuses on gratefulness. Win. Win.
No comments:
Post a Comment