The Children We Lose

R&B talent Amy Winehouse died this weekend, alone and by her own hands. Her friend, actor Russell Brand, writes:

“When you love someone who suffers from the disease of addiction you await the phone call. There will be a phone call. The sincere hope is that the call will be from the addict themselves, telling you they’ve had enough, that they’re ready to stop, ready to try something new. Of course though, you fear the other call, the sad nocturnal chime from a friend or relative telling you it’s too late, she’s gone.

"Frustratingly it’s not a call you can ever make, it must be received. It is impossible to intervene.

"Now Amy is dead, like many others whose unnecessary deaths have been retrospectively romanticised, at 27 years old. Whether this tragedy was preventable or not is now irrelevant. It is not preventable today. We have lost a beautiful and talented woman to this disease. Not all addicts have Amy’s incredible talent. Or Kurt’s or Jimi’s or Janis’s, some people just get the affliction. All we can do is adapt the way we view this condition, not as a crime or a romantic affectation but as a disease that will kill. We need to review the way society treats addicts, not as criminals but as sick people in need of care."

Those who know me well know that I consider every day a blessing for not having this ending to my mother's tale. Each decision may seem insignificant in the moment, but as they accumulate and spill one on top of the other and merge into a lifestyle there comes a point where the way back to a life that exists with hopefulness and choice is lost.  How can we teach our children that?

From a fan comes this reminder: 'When we look at artists, sometimes we forget to look at the real person behind the scenes... we don't know what kind of problems they might have, what they are feeling. They are humans just as we are with worries and despair.. we know you are singing to angels with that beautiful voice. May her soul finally rest in peace.'