A friend of mine finally heard back from the bank.
About 2 years ago they were in serious financial distress with a crazy-ass mortgage and no way to pay. They did the sensible thing and put the place up for sale with an agent, thinking they could sell it and get out from underneath. It's a big and beautiful place and well kept, and a buyer appeared in a relatively short amount of time.
The offer was good but no one knew precisely what the house was worth. And then the appraisal came back $100K under the offer and everything fell apart. (Nowhere do people buy homes for more than they're worth except in brain-impaired Silicon Valley.)
BofA didn't even bother to respond, and so the offer and the buyers evaporated.
Fast forward two years. The house is currently worth a lot less than in 2009, and NOW the bank approves a short sale for them? And gives them 4 months to do it in? With no buyer in the wings?
Had the bank just let them sell it in 2009 when they needed to, it would have saved them 24 additional months of crushing debt and two bankruptcies.
Banks are starting to really piss me off.
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