Do Unto Others

I read rather a shocking article by Lenore Skenazy ( http://www.parentdish.com/2011/03/08/kids-helpless/?icid=maing%7Cmain5%7Cdl6%7Csec3_lnk2%7C49092 ) about the importance of independence in children.  In it, the author bluntly accused well-meaning and over-indulging parents of teaching the Art of Handicap-itis (my word) rather than self reliance. She went so far as to identify the drop off spots in front of the elementary school as former handicap zones that proves parents think their children are unable to walk.

I love a good starry-eyed trip back to the days of my youth, too, when we walked to school uphill both ways in the snow. But if you take a trip there you might want to look at it all, like all of my neighbors had two parent households and one family car, and there were roughly 35 kids on the block to walk with in a clump to the elementary school at the end of the street.

There were other differences, too. We took our lunch in a lunch box with a thermos of milk. If we fell down on the way to school, we had to figure out if we wanted to ask the secretary for a bandaid or turn for home. There were no cells right to Mom.

At the show, we paid attention because we got to see it once.  No one blew their allowance. When that .50 was plunked down, we had already worked out two or three different ways to go, plus a little to savings. And if we skipped our chores that meant no allowance. Simple systems are sometimes best.

So instead of debating the merits of whether to train and empower our children with the skills they need in life, the better question might be: at what age should it begin? 

It already has. Our little sponges are learning all the time, so make the process interactive. That's it! No big mystery! Have them help pick up their toys when they're 3 and make the bed when they're 4; let them stand on a stool and help mom do laundry when they're 7 and make one dinner a week when they're 10; praise them and push them and model what you want them to learn. Set up consequences and stick to them.  C'mon! Who needs a class on this stuff?!

I'm sometimes sorry that the world has changed. But nowadays my neighbors are busy single parents or two-wage earners. They often need to be on the road before school starts, and they've got to get them there so they drop them off. I'd be vying for that cherry drop off spot right in front of the school, too, because it's faster and safer.

Hey, parents are people, too.