Follow Her Lead

This week is an anniversary, a real where-were-you-when-you-heard-the-news kind of thing. Last year just before Halloween, our beautiful granddaughter Aiyana went from being a precocious, happy and joyful child with a pale complexion that everyone thought might be the flu to being a cancer victim. And in one short month, 30 days exactly from the day of her diagnosis, she was gone.

We are past the shock of it now, but not the lingering anguish that forces itself up and out in the most unlikely ways. She is in our dreams, and those moments of wakeful dreaming. It stalls our heart to watch other eight year old girls with long chocolate colored braids that swing happily as they walk hand in hand with their moms to the car. We recognize that elfish sparkle as it peeks out from behind eyes of a 4 year old eating sushi for the first time, or in the sound of happy laughter that floats over from the next booth.

The world misses her. Her elementary school began a a penny drive and the movement blossomed into a beautiful tribute with music and performances by her student friends and a bench dedication for disabled students to use after school. Aiyana's love of reading inspired hundreds of books to be donated to the school library.  

Aiyana gave us an astonishing gift, and perhaps that is why I continually write about her and see her as I go about my life. She lived the great example of truly loving others no matter what and joyfully loving herself just as she was. She lived as Jesus teaches us to, with an open, whole heart.  How many of life's problems would be solved if we could do the same?

It is uncommon to know someone like that, for it is hard to do. Maybe that makes the loss feel greater. I am grateful for knowing and loving her. She has changed me. And it is her example that will carry us through the lonesomeness to a place we can feel her arm gently draped over our shoulders like a shawl to keep us warm. Slowly and surely we will find our way there.