A Pirates' Intention

Once upon a time there were 30-something and 40-something people who used their hard-earned money to invest for retirement. Some bought a home or two and diversified part of it into stocks and bonds.  Some of them went the government route and those enduring jobs and highly-sought-after retirements. And everyone was promised something really wonderful, a personal thanks from Uncle Sam himself, a little hedge against inflation called social security and a pat on the back. 
 
But there were dark days ahead. There were pirates lurking about disguised in suits. They saw all the money lying about and decided to take it for their bounty. They sat at their desks and ate in their fancy restaurants with other pirates and hatched a scheme so they could carry away sacks of cash for themselves.

At first they were armed. They were sure someone would ambush them because they were carrying out sacks of gold and investments. But no one ever did. Night after night they carried out all this money completely unnoticed.

The pirates filled their cars and houses and storage units to the top with money and ran out of where to put it. So they started buying bigger houses and nicer ships and sending it to offshore accounts. The pirates put their guns away and filled their pockets to bursting with all the money they found.

There was more than enough money for the whole world but the pirates wanted more. So they turned some of their workers into pirates by making them say the pirate oath. They gave them Armani suits and alligator shoes to walk among the people. They showed them how to sell loans so they could reach into the purses and wallets to take what was there. This is how the pirates came to have all the money in the world and even the company that prints the money.

One gloomy day it was discovered these men were pirates in disguise, and everyone became afraid. The pirates began to point at each other and to quarrel over whose fault it was, and everyone joined in, businessmen and families and the government leaders. And while all of this commotion was going on, the pirates quietly slipped out and hired on elsewhere as CEOs with a salary of ten million a year. 

The End.