Admissions Day

It's the old getting something for nothing lesson comin' around, and I hate it! How can anyone be learning how to cook deliciously while trying to master portion control?

A few ugly things have happened recently. There have been a lot of references to 'sir and ma'am' by waitpersons and even an unsolicited offer to apply the senior discount at the movies. We are clinging to the hope it's just the extra weight that makes us look older. (Shhh! Just shhh!)

The extra poundage definitely makes us feel older and we've realized how stupid it is to choose food over health. Just cutting back hasn't worked. Our lifestyle includes fresher foods and we already exercise at the Y, so things are moving in the right direction, but there is a need for something more, something organized and scheduled and self-limiting, like a diet ...

(In whiney pitiful tones:) Whatever happened to the days when we could will ourselves thinner by adding a little exercise to lowered portions and watch the unwanted girth melt away? Ohhhh, that was when our metabolism wasn't hard of hearing. {What's that, you say??}

It's been great fun learning to cook a broader selection of foods with fresher ingredients. I've got loads of time to play around. But now's not the time for enticements and it will have to wait for when the hard work is over, maybe once a week or when we hit a weight loss goal.

Today begins the earnest search for an actual diet that we can agree on, and live with, and adapt to, and succeed at, so we make it to the elimination round. Because in addition to the other humiliations we endure, we even failed the vet test.

(this would resemble our dog
if we owned one)

THE VET TEST: Stand behind your dog and place your thumbs on the spine midway down the back. Fan out your fingers and spread them over the ribs. With your thumbs lightly pressing on the spine and fingers on the ribs, slide your hands gently up and down.

In normal sized dogs there is a thin layer of fat. You can feel the ribs easily, although you won't see them. If your dog is overweight, you will not be able to readily feel the ribs, and the tissue over the ribs may feel smooth and wavy.

Did someone mention ribs??