An interesting idea emerged from recent readings, and there is nothing better than a conversation with an author coming to mind as you move through your day doing other things. This author put forth the idea of using one word to name a place or an experience.
At first I thought she meant something similar to naming a child but realized that isn't a good comparison because when you name a child you do it for personal reasons and it doesn't initially mean anything more than a label. A child has to become its name, like Aiyana did for instance, a beautiful little person who blossomed into such sweetness that it made our lives more beautiful. Aiyana's nature was in perfect harmony with her name.
What I think she meant is that places and experiences can be boiled down to a feeling or expression that captures it. MAGICAL, JOYFUL, MELANCHOLY. She goes further to suggest a similar reflective exercise could include using the same principle to look inwardly and see ourselves as part of a long series of transitions. You know, like finding ourselves on the You Are Here map.
I would guess this exercise could be potentially uncomfortable. Having eyes in the back of our heads helps us get our bearings and may help sort out why life doesn't jell and we keep seeing the same old scenery, but it also illuminates the pattern of faults and issues that dog us, the things we have to work hard to get past.
I was raised in a family of happy memories and so it is absolutely, without question, the word Wonder. High school and college years were a Spectrum of experiences and colors and travels and education that cracked open a bigger world. Ok, I get it.
Happiness for the motherhood years and the early years of marriage when life had a natural rhythm of rightness and balance. It is an interesting word, happiness, because it implies that only during those years I was happy, and that is not the case. But I can say being a mother and raising my children was the happIEST I have ever been.
A Shadow fell and I nearly disappeared during the collapse of our marriage mirage, an anemic version of life that led into a long solitary state of Dis-Ease and the feeling where there was nowhere for me, inside or out. That was followed by a quick series of transitions, Quicksand when life between the worlds I was casting off and heading towards, and onto firmer ground and into healing places where the real work could begin to rebuild my life, Introspection, Emergence and Exploration.
Nowhere was there Achieve or Success, although there is a bit of that built in. I do not like those populist commodities and they are far beyond any drive I have other than to work, to live, to be. Peace still eluded me.
I am currently in my Revival period and the holistic elements of who I am repurposing my heart to reflect a more authentic self. It is a greener version on the outside of the person I am on the inside, tenderized by the fires of life and gentled by the grace of God. A revival of thinking and knowing and believing and trusting.
Add to that a committed partnership which has folded in two parts luck with one part risk, after a hundred separate transitions that hurled us through life and in the direction of eventually becoming right for each other, and it is a fantastic brew.
( I can't wait to see how I turn out.)
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