FB

It's an enticing idea, to be able to find and talk to people from your past from the convenience of your own desk. And I suppose it satisfies the most basic social aspects of an electronic society with just minutes to spare as they rush through their day. But it hasn't hit a very responsive chord in me.

What I long for is something different, something that feels real. I am in no way belittling the incredible importance of electronic communication, and I send private emails all the time with lively photo attachments and obviously love to blog.

But when it comes to maintaining a connection, a phone call or a letter is my thing. I like anticipating a good call, warming up a cup of tea with my feet up as I dial the number. I wait for the ring and the voice I miss. I like to hear their excitement and if the machine picks up I think about what to say. Will I sing a song, tell a joke, leave something important they need to know? Whatever it is, they know they were on my mind. And I love love love to get calls. There's nothing sweeter than those little message beeps.

I like standing in the store hunting for the best deal on writing paper and cards with just the right message. I like thinking about our friendship as I write and watch my script fill the page even when it is messier and takes longer than email. I like being able to tell who sent a letter by looking at the handwriting. I like sending cards I put time into finding that is perfect for them, funny and clever ones I stamped and addressed at my desk.

I like letters that took two different pen colors because life interrupted and it had to be put away and by the time it was found some of the news was old but was sent anyway. I like seeing different slants of penmanship, messy and neat, which tells how busy the day was and what mood they were in. Letters with little surprises tucked inside are fun, like a pressed flower or picture of a recent trip or a meaningful quote, and is a pick-me-up on a down day. And who can object to a note found among the usual Wednesday ads and bills?

I actively tried FB for six months at the prompting of a couple of friends. You can tell a lot of people use this FB thing in lieu of real communication. But I've gotta hand it to FB: everyone I've ever known seems to be there. It's perfect for family communications for things like birthday reminders and get togethers, although I did notice a drop in personal communications once we started leaving messages on each other's wall. 

It was fun at first, and a lot - I mean a lot - of people from my younger years came out of the woodwork and it was great to see them again. It felt like being at a reunion without having to lose weight! :) But inevitably it happens, the moment when after catching up with old acquaintances there is nothing left to say or do. We had befriended each other because FB requires that in order to talk, but now what? Is it ok to unfriend after we have each satisfied our curiosity?

After totally getting caught up with having a good showing of a decent number of FB friends so I didn't look lame (how lame is that?!), it became obvious I needed to scale things back. And even with sharing all sorts of personal information with friends, FB still seems as completely impersonal as any other online mask.

So I don't know whether I should ask for forgiveness or even if I have committed a social faux pas for unfriending people, but if I have I am sorry. I gave FB the old college try and it's not for me.