I have been getting to know my dad better in the last few years, after his death. Maybe the chatter of life got in the way and now there's quiet, but I think moreso it's me, different now and more reflective in the older days of my life.
My father is a cornerstone upon which my house is built. Recent life altering situations have renewed an interest in looking at my relationship with Jesus and better defining the Holy Spirit and the role of grace. Personally, it has been startling to see my father's much more intimate relationship with Jesus and the Trinity than mine. Seven long years after his death, the family still struggles with his loss. Slowly, I am coming to believe what we are longing for is not so much my dad's physical presence but what it felt like to be nearer to Jesus through him and the joy that spilled over into our lives.
He was a good man and loved his family but he also exemplified a life of fostered relationships through trust and openness and acceptance. He crafted conversations to teach without criticism and loved us despite our failures and faults. He was interesting to talk to because he was genuinely interested in us. The one thing everyone remembers is how present he was in his relationship with us, even over the din of 10 active grandsons. Every one of us felt treasured and wholley loved in his warm, unhurried way.
I see now what I think might be the Holy Spirit present and loving us with grace and abundance. Family first. Love always. In my dawning relationship of reverence and thanksgiving, I will keep it in mind.
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