Catch and Release, 1/31/07

There's the potential to trivialize people online. After all, they aren't really part of our 3-D world. We get to set the timeframes for including them in our lives, we can click out of a conversation without any personal consequences. We have all the time in the world to be selective and choosey, our ammo is the click of a mouse. How much more depersonalized can we get than that?

We all know that profiles are one minute advertisements. They are reflections of what we perceive ourselves to be. We put on our best outfit in our best environment, take twenty shots, pick the best, and to the world that's who we are. We fantasize without our sensory filtration system. Who are we, really? No one knows we are late to appointments or fight with our children or let the laundry wrinkle in the dryer because we are too lazy to put it away.

Sometimes we swing the other way. We rake up all the hopes and dreams and wishes for a mate and bundle it so tightly that even if we are someone's dream come true, they'd never be ours. The bar we've set for them is impossibly high. In our zest, we discourage good matches from even trying us on. ALL the guys like getaways to Tahoe, have a Harley, love cuddling and communication, know their way around a good back rub. Pulllleeeease! Any man like that would be blissfully married to a woman who knew what she had and held on with both hands. This isn't a gender specific problem, though. We're ALL part of the Catch and Release program!

But what if the potential in ourselves is what we gravitate to when we begin rebuilding our lives? Isn't there enormous hope in the best of ourselves resurfacing to catch the next big wave? I like believing we are all worthy of a do-over.

The online world IS part of the 'real' world. Online journeys do not insulate us from sliding in from time to time to places we did not expect to go. Just like in 3-D, using a sturdy walking stick and guided by our senses, we will tap into our 6th sense and be cautious in finding our way.

I need to always remember that tucked behind the electronic gizmos on our desks are people with hearts and minds and souls, all hoping and wishing and aching for a connection. So before I delete that email without responding, before I judge without exploring it further, I will pause and imagine the touch of an open hand gesturing towards mine. I will feel the slight tremor of nerves as a connection is made. That humanity, on its most fundamental level, should be recognized and acknowledged.