(Jan. 20) - Text of President Barack Obama's inaugural address on Tuesday, as prepared for delivery and released by the Presidential Inaugural Committee.
My fellow citizens:
I stand here today humbled by the task before us, grateful for the trust you have bestowed, mindful of the sacrifices borne by our ancestors. I thank President Bush for his service to our nation, as well as the generosity and cooperation he has shown throughout this transition.
Forty-four Americans have now taken the presidential oath. The words have been spoken during rising tides of prosperity and the still waters of peace.
Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because we the people have remained faithful to the ideals of our forebears, and true to our founding documents.
So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans.
That we are in the midst of crisis is now well understood. Our nation is at war, against a far-reaching network of violence and hatred. Our economy is badly weakened, a consequence of greed and irresponsibility on the part of some, but also our collective failure to make hard choices and prepare the nation for a new age. Homes have been lost; jobs shed; businesses shuttered. Our health care is too costly; our schools fail too many; and each day brings further evidence that the ways we use energy strengthen our adversaries and threaten our planet.
These are the indicators of crisis, subject to data and statistics. Less measurable but no less profound is a sapping of confidence across our land — a nagging fear that America's decline is inevitable, and that the next generation must lower its sights.
Today I say to you that the challenges we face are real. They are serious and they are many. They will not be met easily or in a short span of time. But know this, America — they will be met.
On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom.
For us, they packed up their few worldly possessions and traveled across oceans in search of a new life.
For us, they toiled in sweatshops and settled the West; endured the lash of the whip and plowed the hard earth.
For us, they fought and died, in places like Concord and Gettysburg; Normandy and Khe Sahn. Time and again these men and women struggled and sacrificed and worked till their hands were raw so that we might live a better life. They saw America as bigger than the sum of our individual ambitions; greater than all the differences of birth or wealth or faction.
This is the journey we continue today. We remain the most prosperous, powerful nation on Earth. Our workers are no less productive than when this crisis began. Our minds are no less inventive, our goods and services no less needed than they were last week or last month or last year. Our capacity remains undiminished. But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America.
For everywhere we look, there is work to be done. The state of the economy calls for action, bold and swift, and we will act — not only to create new jobs, but to lay a new foundation for growth. We will build the roads and bridges, the electric grids and digital lines that feed our commerce and bind us together. We will restore science to its rightful place, and wield technology's wonders to raise health care's quality and lower its cost. We will harness the sun and the winds and the soil to fuel our cars and run our factories. And we will transform our schools and colleges and universities to meet the demands of a new age. All this we can do. And all this we will do.
Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage.
What the cynics fail to understand is that the ground has shifted beneath them — that the stale political arguments that have consumed us for so long no longer apply. The question we ask today is not whether our government is too big or too small, but whether it works — whether it helps families find jobs at a decent wage, care they can afford, a retirement that is dignified. Where the answer is yes, we intend to move forward. Where the answer is no, programs will end. And those of us who manage the public's dollars will be held to account — to spend wisely, reform bad habits, and do our business in the light of day — because only then can we restore the vital trust between a people and their government.
Nor is the question before us whether the market is a force for good or ill. Its power to generate wealth and expand freedom is unmatched, but this crisis has reminded us that without a watchful eye, the market can spin out of control — and that a nation cannot prosper long when it favors only the prosperous. The success of our economy has always depended not just on the size of our gross domestic product, but on the reach of our prosperity; on our ability to extend opportunity to every willing heart — not out of charity, but because it is the surest route to our common good.
As for our common defense, we reject as false the choice between our safety and our ideals. Our founding fathers, faced with perils we can scarcely imagine, drafted a charter to assure the rule of law and the rights of man, a charter expanded by the blood of generations. Those ideals still light the world, and we will not give them up for expedience's sake. And so to all other peoples and governments who are watching today, from the grandest capitals to the small village where my father was born: know that America is a friend of each nation and every man, woman, and child who seeks a future of peace and dignity, and that we are ready to lead once more.
Recall that earlier generations faced down fascism and communism not just with missiles and tanks, but with sturdy alliances and enduring convictions. They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint.
We are the keepers of this legacy. Guided by these principles once more, we can meet those new threats that demand even greater effort — even greater cooperation and understanding between nations. We will begin to responsibly leave Iraq to its people, and forge a hard-earned peace in Afghanistan. With old friends and former foes, we will work tirelessly to lessen the nuclear threat, and roll back the specter of a warming planet. We will not apologize for our way of life, nor will we waver in its defense, and for those who seek to advance their aims by inducing terror and slaughtering innocents, we say to you now that our spirit is stronger and cannot be broken; you cannot outlast us, and we will defeat you.
For we know that our patchwork heritage is a strength, not a weakness. We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus — and non-believers. We are shaped by every language and culture, drawn from every end of this Earth; and because we have tasted the bitter swill of civil war and segregation, and emerged from that dark chapter stronger and more united, we cannot help but believe that the old hatreds shall someday pass; that the lines of tribe shall soon dissolve; that as the world grows smaller, our common humanity shall reveal itself; and that America must play its role in ushering in a new era of peace.
To the Muslim world, we seek a new way forward, based on mutual interest and mutual respect. To those leaders around the globe who seek to sow conflict, or blame their society's ills on the West — know that your people will judge you on what you can build, not what you destroy. To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist.
To the people of poor nations, we pledge to work alongside you to make your farms flourish and let clean waters flow; to nourish starved bodies and feed hungry minds. And to those nations like ours that enjoy relative plenty, we say we can no longer afford indifference to suffering outside our borders; nor can we consume the world's resources without regard to effect. For the world has changed, and we must change with it.
As we consider the road that unfolds before us, we remember with humble gratitude those brave Americans who, at this very hour, patrol far-off deserts and distant mountains. They have something to tell us today, just as the fallen heroes who lie in Arlington whisper through the ages. We honor them not only because they are guardians of our liberty, but because they embody the spirit of service; a willingness to find meaning in something greater than themselves. And yet, at this moment — a moment that will define a generation — it is precisely this spirit that must inhabit us all.
For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies. It is the kindness to take in a stranger when the levees break, the selflessness of workers who would rather cut their hours than see a friend lose their job which sees us through our darkest hours. It is the firefighter's courage to storm a stairway filled with smoke, but also a parent's willingness to nurture a child, that finally decides our fate.
Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — hard work and honesty, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task.
This is the price and the promise of citizenship.
This is the source of our confidence — the knowledge that God calls on us to shape an uncertain destiny.
This is the meaning of our liberty and our creed — why men and women and children of every race and every faith can join in celebration across this magnificent mall, and why a man whose father less than sixty years ago might not have been served at a local restaurant can now stand before you to take a most sacred oath.
So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people:
"Let it be told to the future world ... that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet (it)."
America, in the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations.
Barak Obama, 44th President of the United States
Jan 21, 2009
Mr. President
I stood with the rest of the school in a dark auditorium watching Barak Obama become the 44th President. Hand over my heart, and tears in my eyes, I was as present in the moment as if I were trembling in the 20 degree chill on the sunny steps in Washington D.C.
A thousand inner-city students bore witness to the tradition taking place on the wavy screen on the stage: their first inauguration, I mused, and in some ways mine, too. How in tune and hopeful it felt to hear our President's thoughtful, intelligent spirit beneath the words, and the harnessed power beneath. The students stood respectfully, and erupted in joyful celebration when Joe Biden and Barak Obama took the oaths of office.
How deeply needed were the President's words, like a salve on a wound, and reminiscent of the Kennedys and of King: inspiring, comforting, leading the charge in a new direction. President Obama's call to active citizenship was not just on election day, although our country participated fully: it was a call to retire iCitizenship and embrace weCitizenship. Too long have we focused on ourselves, prioritizing personal needs above those of others.
Our President's words brought rain to a parched land, boosted us to our feet, steeled us for the sacrifices ahead with reminders of our own humble, gritty heritage that is our bedrock. To believe our country's greatest hours lie ahead means we must earn it back through innovation, competition, hard work and sacrifice. We have arrived at the moment of truth.
It is wonderful to see young people as Americans at this juncture. The words, work and spirit of the Kennedys and Martin Luther King deeply shaped my sense of citizenship and President Obama will do that for them. There is such promise in the air! God willing, our prayers will continue to be answered for President Obama's safety, success in action and wisdom in adversity as he move us forward.
A thousand inner-city students bore witness to the tradition taking place on the wavy screen on the stage: their first inauguration, I mused, and in some ways mine, too. How in tune and hopeful it felt to hear our President's thoughtful, intelligent spirit beneath the words, and the harnessed power beneath. The students stood respectfully, and erupted in joyful celebration when Joe Biden and Barak Obama took the oaths of office.
How deeply needed were the President's words, like a salve on a wound, and reminiscent of the Kennedys and of King: inspiring, comforting, leading the charge in a new direction. President Obama's call to active citizenship was not just on election day, although our country participated fully: it was a call to retire iCitizenship and embrace weCitizenship. Too long have we focused on ourselves, prioritizing personal needs above those of others.
Our President's words brought rain to a parched land, boosted us to our feet, steeled us for the sacrifices ahead with reminders of our own humble, gritty heritage that is our bedrock. To believe our country's greatest hours lie ahead means we must earn it back through innovation, competition, hard work and sacrifice. We have arrived at the moment of truth.
It is wonderful to see young people as Americans at this juncture. The words, work and spirit of the Kennedys and Martin Luther King deeply shaped my sense of citizenship and President Obama will do that for them. There is such promise in the air! God willing, our prayers will continue to be answered for President Obama's safety, success in action and wisdom in adversity as he move us forward.
Jan 17, 2009
The Year of Redistribution
In 2008, the sky filled with black and ominous storm clouds, and its first heavy downpour washed away some of life. More storms are on the horizon, back to back, fierce in their momentum and forcing us down.
Should we have better assessed its trajectory and power? Yes.
Is it too late to be seeding the clouds to lessen the impact? Maybe.
Last year became a year to fight or flee, self reflect, stand in solidarity and divide, redraw boundaries and reroute traditions. The old communal philosophies were challenged by a world that did not ask forgiveness or permission as it dispensed out old world consequences. We went to war with our value system.
And yet all is not lost. Grandbabies were born, families were reunited, people fell in love. It was historically significant. Moments like these, and lessons about blossoming and waning friendships, made the year of redistribution a year of redistributing the big rocks in my jar.
Life breathes into the pivot points, connections and laughter, even the tears shed at the solemn challenges ahead. As it pounds down from above, I hope we seek shelter together and lighten the load.
Should we have better assessed its trajectory and power? Yes.
Is it too late to be seeding the clouds to lessen the impact? Maybe.
Last year became a year to fight or flee, self reflect, stand in solidarity and divide, redraw boundaries and reroute traditions. The old communal philosophies were challenged by a world that did not ask forgiveness or permission as it dispensed out old world consequences. We went to war with our value system.
And yet all is not lost. Grandbabies were born, families were reunited, people fell in love. It was historically significant. Moments like these, and lessons about blossoming and waning friendships, made the year of redistribution a year of redistributing the big rocks in my jar.
Life breathes into the pivot points, connections and laughter, even the tears shed at the solemn challenges ahead. As it pounds down from above, I hope we seek shelter together and lighten the load.
My Honey with Lemon
We went to dinner last night, and that's when it started. The hiccups.
He was plugged up already from a cold and probably swallowed a lot air while enjoying sushi at our favorite haunt. He hiccupped home and we checked a medical book and online to wade through the thousands of homeopathic solutions. Turns out it's like baseball: everybody has an opinion but the only way to know for sure is to try it firsthand.
During the night, plugged up and breathing through his mouth, and hiccupping, he was his own human guinea pig. A teaspoon of sugar seemed to be a temporary fix but for a diabetic that's an even draw. Thinking Zicam might unstuff him, so he could breathe and gulp less air, which in turn would get rid of the hiccups, he took that, and sneezed so many times in a row he pulled a muscle below his left shoulderblade.
:)
God love 'em, he's still really funny and patient as I'm trying different remedies, like startling him, having him drink water upside down, hot tea of course, using pressure points on his forehead and reluctantly more teaspoons of sugar. I've made chicken soup because that fixes everything.
He's resting comfortably at present, happily distracted by a movie, as he hiccups away, wedged in the sofa with kleenex box in hand, a heating pad on his shoulderblade and a cup of hot tea with lemon and honey. Since I have no plans to blog about a visit to the ER, I'm heading back online to find a cure.
He was plugged up already from a cold and probably swallowed a lot air while enjoying sushi at our favorite haunt. He hiccupped home and we checked a medical book and online to wade through the thousands of homeopathic solutions. Turns out it's like baseball: everybody has an opinion but the only way to know for sure is to try it firsthand.
During the night, plugged up and breathing through his mouth, and hiccupping, he was his own human guinea pig. A teaspoon of sugar seemed to be a temporary fix but for a diabetic that's an even draw. Thinking Zicam might unstuff him, so he could breathe and gulp less air, which in turn would get rid of the hiccups, he took that, and sneezed so many times in a row he pulled a muscle below his left shoulderblade.
:)
God love 'em, he's still really funny and patient as I'm trying different remedies, like startling him, having him drink water upside down, hot tea of course, using pressure points on his forehead and reluctantly more teaspoons of sugar. I've made chicken soup because that fixes everything.
He's resting comfortably at present, happily distracted by a movie, as he hiccups away, wedged in the sofa with kleenex box in hand, a heating pad on his shoulderblade and a cup of hot tea with lemon and honey. Since I have no plans to blog about a visit to the ER, I'm heading back online to find a cure.
Jan 10, 2009
Truth, Justice and the American Way
What marks the beginning of the Christmas season for you? Please tell me it's not Christmas debris in the stores before Halloween. For me, it's receiving a newsy Christmas letter from my friend in Texas. I look forward to it every year, an armchair glimpse into the world of an engaged, lifelong learner.
This year, 'we' found a perfect ski spot and beautiful chalet that cost next to nothing for the week. Being able to compete in the state championships for women's tennis doubles was a thrill, once the shock of it being for 'seniors' wore off. We laugh about our boys, are voracious readers, disagree on politics and enjoy metaphysics.
I love to watch her participate in life. Her arms of support are raised high beneath her sons until they catch that first big updraft, but do not linger long. She wants her children to become the architects of their own lives, and for that to happen, she must let go.
Her marriage maintains a balance without maintaining a balance sheet. They play. They dance. They fight. But they are quick to demonstrate kindness, adapt to each other's growing interests, and show respect and love. In twenty years of friendship, I have yet to hear an unkind word spoken by one about the other.
It looks so easy on her, but it's not. It takes self discipline to take the high road, to push oneself forward into life rather than watch it. Investing in life yields the bigger reward. Well Done!
This year, 'we' found a perfect ski spot and beautiful chalet that cost next to nothing for the week. Being able to compete in the state championships for women's tennis doubles was a thrill, once the shock of it being for 'seniors' wore off. We laugh about our boys, are voracious readers, disagree on politics and enjoy metaphysics.
I love to watch her participate in life. Her arms of support are raised high beneath her sons until they catch that first big updraft, but do not linger long. She wants her children to become the architects of their own lives, and for that to happen, she must let go.
Her marriage maintains a balance without maintaining a balance sheet. They play. They dance. They fight. But they are quick to demonstrate kindness, adapt to each other's growing interests, and show respect and love. In twenty years of friendship, I have yet to hear an unkind word spoken by one about the other.
It looks so easy on her, but it's not. It takes self discipline to take the high road, to push oneself forward into life rather than watch it. Investing in life yields the bigger reward. Well Done!
Jan 2, 2009
City Lights
I read this morning about Editta Sherman, a 95 year old lady who has lived in a flat above Carnegie Hall for 61 years. She received an eviction notice last week because there are $150 million in renovations planned for the space.
The 'Duchess of Carnegie', as she's known locally, is a professional photographer. All around her apartment, framed photos sit in rows, famous faces who through the years touched her life, the Hall, the world.
Streaming light floods in from all sides. Vogue photo shoots were here. The black and white checkerboard tiles and the spiral staircase have hosted Carl Sandberg, Yul Brenner, Eva Gabor, Tyrone Power, Salvador Dali and Paul Newman. Editta's five children and 25 grandchildren, too.
The 'Duchess of Carnegie', as she's known locally, is a professional photographer. All around her apartment, framed photos sit in rows, famous faces who through the years touched her life, the Hall, the world.
Streaming light floods in from all sides. Vogue photo shoots were here. The black and white checkerboard tiles and the spiral staircase have hosted Carl Sandberg, Yul Brenner, Eva Gabor, Tyrone Power, Salvador Dali and Paul Newman. Editta's five children and 25 grandchildren, too.
The City of New York has already relocated some of the 48 tenants after the courts said they had to go. I don't know, though: they haven't come up against a near-centurion who still jumps rope to stay in shape. It will be interesting to see if the courts can place a value on a living piece of history. My money's on her.
Dec 27, 2008
No Man is an Island
A friend of mine was offended because I wrote about a man I happened to meet who was intentionally walking away from his house. He was boasting to virtual strangers (us) that his wife's retirement and his salary are very good but since the economic downturn was the fault of the banks, he had the right to make them take it back. The right.
He bragged about knowing all the strategies to defraud the lender. Since some of the bailout money is coming out of my pocket, I am entitled to an opinion. I have the right to disagree when I know consumerism is about individual choice and individual responsibility. I have the right to be offended, and to say I am, even if others disagree. And I was and I am, for anyone who betters himself at the expense of the rest.
There is a lot of pain and suffering right now, innocent people being hurt in this fledgling economy. My heart goes out to those duped into believing they could afford things they clearly could not. There is appreciation in the people I meet, for a job, money in the bank, and stability even just in the moment. Humility is in the air.
Which was why this man's attitude was so offensive. As a country, where would we be and how would we survive if everyone did that? John Donne came to mind and I believe this to be true:
No man is an island, entire of itself.
Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less
As well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were.
Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls:
It tolls for thee.
He bragged about knowing all the strategies to defraud the lender. Since some of the bailout money is coming out of my pocket, I am entitled to an opinion. I have the right to disagree when I know consumerism is about individual choice and individual responsibility. I have the right to be offended, and to say I am, even if others disagree. And I was and I am, for anyone who betters himself at the expense of the rest.
There is a lot of pain and suffering right now, innocent people being hurt in this fledgling economy. My heart goes out to those duped into believing they could afford things they clearly could not. There is appreciation in the people I meet, for a job, money in the bank, and stability even just in the moment. Humility is in the air.
Which was why this man's attitude was so offensive. As a country, where would we be and how would we survive if everyone did that? John Donne came to mind and I believe this to be true:
No man is an island, entire of itself.
Every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.
If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less
As well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friends or of thine own were.
Any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind.
And therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls:
It tolls for thee.
Dec 24, 2008
The Card
The family is expanding, and I'm going on a diet right after the holidays! But I mean, really, it is expanding.
Don and Jami have a basket of two daughters, two son in laws and four grandchildren. My basket now includes Erika, who is like a daughter, so our basket comfortably accommodates her two brothers, and parents. Randy's brothers and families include 11 more, not counting Aunts and Uncles and cousins which number in the low 20's. And to add Randy's brood is another 19 more. Does anyone have a calculator?!
Let's suffice it to say, the days of not needing to add a leaf to the holiday table are over. As such, we have had to be a little creative with family cluster gathering this year.
There is always a favorite moment in the day when I stop and look around and give thanks for the playful banter and laughter of a family gathered together. But this year just seemed especially joyful, with additions to the family tucked happily inside. The time we take to pause from our hectic lives is the real gift, but it's fun to watch the faces as we open each other's thoughtfulness being unwrapped.
Let's face it: there's always a favorite gift. This year, it was the card that was on the tree from my son. Can you believe he was thanking me for my love and support these years and how glad he was to see me happy. He said it was good to see me taking care of myself after all the years of taking care of him and his brothers.
Oh honey! It's always been a joy being your mother and that will never change. No matter where life leads us, I will always be there for you. Always.
Don and Jami have a basket of two daughters, two son in laws and four grandchildren. My basket now includes Erika, who is like a daughter, so our basket comfortably accommodates her two brothers, and parents. Randy's brothers and families include 11 more, not counting Aunts and Uncles and cousins which number in the low 20's. And to add Randy's brood is another 19 more. Does anyone have a calculator?!
Let's suffice it to say, the days of not needing to add a leaf to the holiday table are over. As such, we have had to be a little creative with family cluster gathering this year.
There is always a favorite moment in the day when I stop and look around and give thanks for the playful banter and laughter of a family gathered together. But this year just seemed especially joyful, with additions to the family tucked happily inside. The time we take to pause from our hectic lives is the real gift, but it's fun to watch the faces as we open each other's thoughtfulness being unwrapped.
Let's face it: there's always a favorite gift. This year, it was the card that was on the tree from my son. Can you believe he was thanking me for my love and support these years and how glad he was to see me happy. He said it was good to see me taking care of myself after all the years of taking care of him and his brothers.
Oh honey! It's always been a joy being your mother and that will never change. No matter where life leads us, I will always be there for you. Always.
Focus and Breathe!
I was watching the family last night, struck by transitioning lives as the new generation struggles free. Last Christmases for some, weddings, illnesses, and everyone was feeling the pinch of life striking out on its own. There were tears of joy and sorrow, struggles for others, but the undercurrent was change in all of its challenging and intimidating forms.
So many things about life are hard. Take for instance watching friends struggle with the sudden stilling of their business phones in this economy; laying to rest a beloved friend; accepting when a friend's life no longer intersect as it once did. There's a bitter spot at the bottom of your stomach when you know, you just know, the gig is up. Even before the emotional books balance, you begin to yield to what will come. It's easy to feel like life is a let down.
But last night, I listened to a duet of What Child Is This on the electric guitar and piano (grandma and grandson) that was amazing. I felt the warmth and thanksgiving of the family gathering and in the eyes of a happy teenager. I watched little ones clomping around wearing the Bride's shoes, playing hide and seek in the walk in closet, and picking off the good stuff on the top of the pizza. I was part of a family providing comfort to one another because work and home emergencies have taken their toll. I was moved.
What a great reminder that the only value that matters is our own internal assessment and place in the world. Yeah, it would be great to be hailed as the Next Big Thing, have an easy life and public accolades to stroke our egos. But when it's just you and God, it's how we mark our time that matters, the bridges we build, the lives we touch, the lessons we learn and pass on. A job is a job is a job, and we need them to get by. But Family, God's Blessings, Love, Health, now those things are worthy of prayer.
We are so blessed to have loving families and friends to stand with. As Colette used to say, we'll get through this: now focus and breathe!
With the contraction of our economy, our lives, our jobs, and our hope, I think that is excellent advice.
So many things about life are hard. Take for instance watching friends struggle with the sudden stilling of their business phones in this economy; laying to rest a beloved friend; accepting when a friend's life no longer intersect as it once did. There's a bitter spot at the bottom of your stomach when you know, you just know, the gig is up. Even before the emotional books balance, you begin to yield to what will come. It's easy to feel like life is a let down.
But last night, I listened to a duet of What Child Is This on the electric guitar and piano (grandma and grandson) that was amazing. I felt the warmth and thanksgiving of the family gathering and in the eyes of a happy teenager. I watched little ones clomping around wearing the Bride's shoes, playing hide and seek in the walk in closet, and picking off the good stuff on the top of the pizza. I was part of a family providing comfort to one another because work and home emergencies have taken their toll. I was moved.
What a great reminder that the only value that matters is our own internal assessment and place in the world. Yeah, it would be great to be hailed as the Next Big Thing, have an easy life and public accolades to stroke our egos. But when it's just you and God, it's how we mark our time that matters, the bridges we build, the lives we touch, the lessons we learn and pass on. A job is a job is a job, and we need them to get by. But Family, God's Blessings, Love, Health, now those things are worthy of prayer.
We are so blessed to have loving families and friends to stand with. As Colette used to say, we'll get through this: now focus and breathe!
With the contraction of our economy, our lives, our jobs, and our hope, I think that is excellent advice.
Dec 18, 2008
Bidding Adieu
Day 13:
All packed and ready to go, we dropped Flat Stanley with the US Post Office on the way to work. We double checked he had his itinerary, clothes and his little surprise. After that sushi dinner last night, we left him with extra change for postage, too!
It is always sad to say goodbye, but Flat Stanley was very excited to surprise Joey by being home by Christmas eve. We told him we would track his trip back online so we can imagine his adventures as he makes his way back to Florida.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Love,
Your family in California
All packed and ready to go, we dropped Flat Stanley with the US Post Office on the way to work. We double checked he had his itinerary, clothes and his little surprise. After that sushi dinner last night, we left him with extra change for postage, too!
It is always sad to say goodbye, but Flat Stanley was very excited to surprise Joey by being home by Christmas eve. We told him we would track his trip back online so we can imagine his adventures as he makes his way back to Florida.
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Love,
Your family in California
Dec 17, 2008
Stan's Stand on Sushi
(This is me in front of Griffith Observatory in Southern California)Day 12:
No visit to California is complete without a dinner at Hisui, so after work we took him to our favorite Japanese restaurant in Fairfield. Have you ever had sushi? Flat Stanley hadn’t either, but we reassured him that if he tried it and didn’t like it, he could have something else on the menu like chicken teriyaki or tempura.
Flat Stanley liked the place right away! The first thing he saw was a stone fountain with koi fish (they look like fancy gold fish but are really big) and two turtles swimming around. We let him hang over the edge and held onto his feet so he didn’t fall in.
There is an interesting part of the restaurant where Japanese chefs cook dinner right at the tables (Hibachi cooking), and that is fun, too, but we were headed for the sushi bar. We know the owner and the sushi chef very well, and they seated us right away. At the sushi bar, there is a long oval counter with stools and in front is a moat filled with water. The sushi chef stands inside the circle and makes all types of sushi and puts it on plates on the little boats and they float along the moat with the food. If you see something you want, you take the plate and put it in front of you. It’s THAT easy!
Well, when Flat Stanley got a load of the boats, he got so excited he jumped right onto an open spot and floated away! We had to walk down to pluck him off the boat and explain it is only for food.
We tried a lot of sushi after that, and Flat Stanley really liked the rice and the cooked shrimp (ebi) but wasn’t wild about the tuna (maguro) or salmon (sake). He liked eel (unagi) a LOT and the California roll (avocado, crab, cucumber rolled in rice). He also liked gari, which is thinly sliced ginger used as a garnish. For dessert, we all tried a fried banana, which is a little slice of banana quickly deep fried and drizzled with powdered sugar and plum sauce. We all left very happy and full.
No visit to California is complete without a dinner at Hisui, so after work we took him to our favorite Japanese restaurant in Fairfield. Have you ever had sushi? Flat Stanley hadn’t either, but we reassured him that if he tried it and didn’t like it, he could have something else on the menu like chicken teriyaki or tempura.
Flat Stanley liked the place right away! The first thing he saw was a stone fountain with koi fish (they look like fancy gold fish but are really big) and two turtles swimming around. We let him hang over the edge and held onto his feet so he didn’t fall in.
There is an interesting part of the restaurant where Japanese chefs cook dinner right at the tables (Hibachi cooking), and that is fun, too, but we were headed for the sushi bar. We know the owner and the sushi chef very well, and they seated us right away. At the sushi bar, there is a long oval counter with stools and in front is a moat filled with water. The sushi chef stands inside the circle and makes all types of sushi and puts it on plates on the little boats and they float along the moat with the food. If you see something you want, you take the plate and put it in front of you. It’s THAT easy!
Well, when Flat Stanley got a load of the boats, he got so excited he jumped right onto an open spot and floated away! We had to walk down to pluck him off the boat and explain it is only for food.
We tried a lot of sushi after that, and Flat Stanley really liked the rice and the cooked shrimp (ebi) but wasn’t wild about the tuna (maguro) or salmon (sake). He liked eel (unagi) a LOT and the California roll (avocado, crab, cucumber rolled in rice). He also liked gari, which is thinly sliced ginger used as a garnish. For dessert, we all tried a fried banana, which is a little slice of banana quickly deep fried and drizzled with powdered sugar and plum sauce. We all left very happy and full.
(This is Randy with his favorite Aunt, Aunt Norma. She is Randy's mother's sister and he misses his mom so he spends a lot of time with her. )
Dec 16, 2008
The DeGol Family Park
Day 10:
Around the corner from the house is a neighborhood park which Joey and his brother and sister visited when they were here. It has things to climb on, and a xylophone made of wood, and slides and rope bridges. It was a beautiful day today, sunny and about 65 degrees, so Flat Stanley went there in the afternoon and had a lot of fun running around and working off some energy. Around here, we call it the DeGol Family Park because we were the only ones there.
After he returned from the park, he asked for a tour of the Bat Cave. It’s not really a cave, it’s a room in the house, but it is very full of interesting things from floor to ceiling so it feels like another world.
Randy and Flat Stanley talked a long time about music and sports, two interesting topics, and Flat Stanley picked out something for Joey. There were all sorts of wonderful vintage pictures of San Francisco to talk about, and lots of books to see. He liked The Beatles a LOT! But his favorite thing in the whole room was a bell casted in 1936 for the Queen Mary.
The Queen Mary is a luxury liner ship that is now docked in the Port of Long Beach Harbor, and is on display. Long Beach is a town at the bottom of the state. A friend worked on the docks and when the ship was renovated, he was given the bell as a gift. When you pull on the rope, it makes a very loud and clear ring.
Flat Stanley was a little sad this evening, and we asked why. Although it has been a great adventure, he was feeling a little homesick. We talked a while about Christmas and made a big decision on when he should head home.
Day 11:
Flat Stanley has been noticing that California's geography is very diverse, meaning there are a lot of different things to see. We have valleys and foothills and mountains and lakes and rivers, and one whole side of the state touches the Pacific Ocean. We explained this much diversity attracts a diversity of people, as you might expect, and California is known for that.
There are big cities for business, and rich agricultural land for farmers and cattle ranchers. Surfers and mountain climbers and environmentalists come for the beauty and mild climate. We have immigrants and tourists, just like he does in Florida.
Woodland is a suburb about 35 minutes north of the capital (Sacramento). It is called the 'City of Trees' because we have 10,000 trees! It has a nice downtown with restaurants and shops and is surrounded by open land. When you drive out of town, there are little fruit stands along the way selling freshly grown fruits and vegetables. If you ever have eaten a strawberry that has been warmed by the sun and just picked, you know how different it tastes than store-bought ones. Flat Stanley had TWO bites, it was so good.
Ten minutes away is Davis, which is the home of a very famous university and medical facility. Have you ever heard of the UC Davis Medical Center or the University of California, Davis? The college is best known for its Veterinary Sciences program. The medical center is one of the best teaching hospitals in the world.
Around the corner from the house is a neighborhood park which Joey and his brother and sister visited when they were here. It has things to climb on, and a xylophone made of wood, and slides and rope bridges. It was a beautiful day today, sunny and about 65 degrees, so Flat Stanley went there in the afternoon and had a lot of fun running around and working off some energy. Around here, we call it the DeGol Family Park because we were the only ones there.
After he returned from the park, he asked for a tour of the Bat Cave. It’s not really a cave, it’s a room in the house, but it is very full of interesting things from floor to ceiling so it feels like another world.Randy and Flat Stanley talked a long time about music and sports, two interesting topics, and Flat Stanley picked out something for Joey. There were all sorts of wonderful vintage pictures of San Francisco to talk about, and lots of books to see. He liked The Beatles a LOT! But his favorite thing in the whole room was a bell casted in 1936 for the Queen Mary.
The Queen Mary is a luxury liner ship that is now docked in the Port of Long Beach Harbor, and is on display. Long Beach is a town at the bottom of the state. A friend worked on the docks and when the ship was renovated, he was given the bell as a gift. When you pull on the rope, it makes a very loud and clear ring.
Flat Stanley was a little sad this evening, and we asked why. Although it has been a great adventure, he was feeling a little homesick. We talked a while about Christmas and made a big decision on when he should head home.
Day 11:
Flat Stanley has been noticing that California's geography is very diverse, meaning there are a lot of different things to see. We have valleys and foothills and mountains and lakes and rivers, and one whole side of the state touches the Pacific Ocean. We explained this much diversity attracts a diversity of people, as you might expect, and California is known for that.
There are big cities for business, and rich agricultural land for farmers and cattle ranchers. Surfers and mountain climbers and environmentalists come for the beauty and mild climate. We have immigrants and tourists, just like he does in Florida.
Woodland is a suburb about 35 minutes north of the capital (Sacramento). It is called the 'City of Trees' because we have 10,000 trees! It has a nice downtown with restaurants and shops and is surrounded by open land. When you drive out of town, there are little fruit stands along the way selling freshly grown fruits and vegetables. If you ever have eaten a strawberry that has been warmed by the sun and just picked, you know how different it tastes than store-bought ones. Flat Stanley had TWO bites, it was so good.
Ten minutes away is Davis, which is the home of a very famous university and medical facility. Have you ever heard of the UC Davis Medical Center or the University of California, Davis? The college is best known for its Veterinary Sciences program. The medical center is one of the best teaching hospitals in the world.
Dec 13, 2008
Stanley, the Scientist
Day 7:
Today, everywhere in the world, we were told the moon was at its closest distance to the earth. So of course Flat Stanley wanted to take a better look so after work we headed outside with a telescope. Once it was set up and adjusted, we had to wait a while because of cloud cover but the waiting paid off. The moon looked really big just looking at it, but when Flat Stanley looked in the telescope, well he was amazed to see all sorts of detail on the moon, craters and valleys and little mountains.
Randy told Flat Stanley all about the lunar landing in 1969 and the Sea of Tranquility. We were hoping to identify the Sea of Tranquility with the telescope and we DID! So Flat Stanley, on this day (December 12, 2008) saw the exact spot where Commander Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin walked on the moon for the very first time! That seemed like a long time ago to Flat Stanley, but Randy and I remember it like it was yesterday.
Day 8:
It was time for Randy to put up Christmas lights on the house. Can you believe he’s this old and hasn’t EVER put up Christmas lights before? Well, that’s absolutely true. Flat Stanley told him not to feel bad, he hasn’t put up lights, either, and so the two of them decided to work together. It was very foggy out and the air feels extra chilly when it looks gray and thick but they kept at it, putting up clips and spacing the lights just the way I like them. The house is now ready for Christmas! I made them hot chocolate as a thank you before we tackled the next project of decorating the tree.
The tree was already in the tree stand and filled with water, so we put on lights. Then we opened all the ornament boxes and admired each one as their stories were told. Flat Stanley climbed around in the tree and found just the right spot for each of them. Some had Joey’s cousins’ pictures from when they were his age. Some were from places we had been. Flat Stanley learned that Christmas ornaments are like looking at the happiest parts of a family’s life hanging on a tree.
Day 9:
Well it’s officially cookie season and you know what THAT means – it’s time to get to work making sugar and oatmeal chocolate chip cookies, toffee bars and other goodies that make the house smell yummy. We want to have lots of things to eat when friends and family come over. Flat Stanley had a blast mixing the ingredients and baking the cookies and eating them, too. He liked cracking the egg over the bowl with a karate chop – hiYah! He liked sprinkling the cookies with cinnamon sugar. Don’t worry, Joey, we’ll put extra postage on the envelope when Flat Stanley heads home.
Flat Stanley the Worker Bee
Day 4:
Flat Stanley got up before me this morning, but we made it to work on time. Today was a busy day helping parents and students. We had one emergency call to 9-1-1 for a student who was doing jumping jacks and passed out right in class. We were worried until the Paramedics arrived. They took her in an ambulance with her mother just to check her out, and her mom called later to say she was okay.
After work we went to the Christmas potluck at an art gallery around the corner from the school. It is named 40 Acres Art Gallery and our students' artwork was up all around. Before we ate, an important man spoke to all of us, the man who imagined the school and worked hard to make it real. I will give you a hint: He was also a famous basketball player and played for the Phoenix Suns in the 1980s and 1990s when we lived in Arizona.
Have you guessed who it is yet? Why it's Mr. Kevin Johnson! And guess what else: Mr. Johnson is the newly elected Mayor of Sacramento but he still made time to stop in at our Christmas party to say hello. He is a very good man who has made a big difference. Flat Stanley didn't get to meet him but he did see him.
Day 5:
Flat Stanley was tired, so he decided to stay home with Sophie our Boxer. No, not a Boxer fighter, a DOG! Sophie and he hung out in the garage with snacks. The garage is piled high with all sorts of interesting things we are selling at a garage sale, so I told Flat Stanley he could look around all he wanted. Just be careful not to get stuck in a box!
There was a little bit of ice on the windshield this morning, can you believe that? Sophie hasn't been feeling very well lately, so I left them with blankets in case they were chilly. The pool guy came today and petted Sophie a while. He had to replace the pump and seals on the motor for the hot tub so Sophie and Flat Stanley hung out watching him work. After he left, George the neighbor came over and locked the gate and gave them a couple more snacks.
Day 6:
Flat Stanley had to drag his tired body out of bed this morning reeeeeaalllly early to go to work with Randy at 4:55 am!! He said it felt like it was the middle of the night. Flat Stanley perked up once he had a cup of java (that's 'Randy lingo' for coffee). The coffee Randy makes is sent 'specially from San Francisco's North Beach – the Italian District. Randy tells everyone Graffeo's coffee is the best in the WORLD!
Flat Stanley hadn't ever been to a company that sells roll up doors before. They make them in Mountaintop, Pennsylvania, but Randy sells them to places like Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles, Port of San Francisco on the docks, and Treasure Island. Treasure Island is where they held the 1939 Worlds Fair and is in the middle of San Francisco Bay.
Randy had six jobs to bid (that is a LOT for one day) so Flat Stanley helped him with phone calls and crunching numbers on the calculator. They got it all done, though! Sales are up, thanks to Flat Stanley's hard work!
A lot of Randy's co-workers introduced themselves but there was one big SURPRISE in store: Joey's cousin Tim works there, too, and so they hung out together in the shop. After a long day at work, the boys headed home at 2:30. That seems early, but do you remember what time they left for work? Flat Stanley was so tired, he conked out right after dinner. He didn't even stay up for ice cream.
In new adventures, Flat Stanley will discover the moon and make cookies ...
Flat Stanley
My cousin's son, Joey from Florida, sent us a paper doll from his 3rd grade class named Flat Stanley, asking us to host him and journal his adventures. Thanks for picking us, Joey! We are enjoying having him as a visitor and he will return to Joey and his class with a lot of stories and memories to share.
And so, without further ado, I hope you enjoy the Wonderful, Marvelous, Fantabulous Adventures of Flat Stanley on the Occasion of his Sojourn to California, 2008.
Day 2:
After a good night's sleep, Flat Stanley traveled with us to hunt for Christmas presents. He snacked on free samples at Costco, helped us order gift cards at Target for the grandchildren, and looked for a Christmas tree.
He liked the scrawny one that was on sale, but we told him NO! This year we're going all out on the beautiful full one to set near the fireplace, in honor of his visit. After all, how many times do we have out of state friends of the family visiting for Christmas?
Day 3:
And so, without further ado, I hope you enjoy the Wonderful, Marvelous, Fantabulous Adventures of Flat Stanley on the Occasion of his Sojourn to California, 2008.
Day 1:
Flat Stanley breezed into Woodland, CA, flat broke and owing money (26 cents, to be exact). He did admit to eating a big hamburger on the trip and maybe that is why he was heavier on arrival than he was on departure.
He had an incredible trip, being tossed around in different cities and getting to know fellow travelers on the airline flight which, amazingly, was ON TIME!
Flat Stanley's luggage was lost en route so first up was making him a sleeping bag and warm clothes for his visit. By the time the airline finds his luggage, he'll probably be ready for home.
Day 2:
After a good night's sleep, Flat Stanley traveled with us to hunt for Christmas presents. He snacked on free samples at Costco, helped us order gift cards at Target for the grandchildren, and looked for a Christmas tree.
He liked the scrawny one that was on sale, but we told him NO! This year we're going all out on the beautiful full one to set near the fireplace, in honor of his visit. After all, how many times do we have out of state friends of the family visiting for Christmas?
Day 3:
Flat Stanley and I went to work together. I work in a high school in Sacramento, CA. It is a charter school which just opened another similar school in Harlem. This school helps students of all nationalities who want to work hard and go to college. It is in Oak Park, CA, where a lot of poor people live.
Flat Stanley was amazed by the diversity of the people he met. He had to be in uniform in order to come for a visit, so I made him a set in his size. At our school, all students – boys and girls – wear the same shirts, slacks and sweatshirts. It keeps them focused on working hard and the clothes are very affordable and durable, and the families appreciate that.
Stay posted for more of Flat Stanley's adventures when he hangs out with Sophie the Wonderdog and meets the Mayor.
Dec 8, 2008
Dust
It filters down from above, in our hair, shoulders, hands. The air is loaded with it, grainy and rough, carried on the strands of sunlight, blocking it with the grime and grit. I shield my eyes to glance up at the shards being swept off the edge and hear the quiet tap tap tap of life chipping away.
People are hunched over now, covering their noses and mouths with cloth from their shirts, dust accumulating in the creases of their exposed necks. They begin to wander around seeking cover, under a tree perhaps or awning, and try in vain to dust themselves off and also their companions' backs where they can't reach. Familiar things look unfamiliar as it is blanketed by the erosion of life.
My 401K - down 48%, to the original investment of 1999. Jobs in the balance, young people filled with dread. Even if we compassionately fall short of the doomsdayer projections of total economic collapse, it's unsettling to watch things erode. We now know we will all suffer for the blind ambition and unchecked greed of a few. We are here again because our country has not yet learned the lesson it needs to learn.
The best kind of national infrastructure is faith based, that is to say honoring and valuing that which is unseen. We the People believe it is there to sustain us without feeling confined by it. The lives we know and cherish, the freedoms we have so arrogantly come to complacently expect, is transforming. What will it be like, I wonder, and how long will we have to wait until the dust settles?
People are hunched over now, covering their noses and mouths with cloth from their shirts, dust accumulating in the creases of their exposed necks. They begin to wander around seeking cover, under a tree perhaps or awning, and try in vain to dust themselves off and also their companions' backs where they can't reach. Familiar things look unfamiliar as it is blanketed by the erosion of life.
My 401K - down 48%, to the original investment of 1999. Jobs in the balance, young people filled with dread. Even if we compassionately fall short of the doomsdayer projections of total economic collapse, it's unsettling to watch things erode. We now know we will all suffer for the blind ambition and unchecked greed of a few. We are here again because our country has not yet learned the lesson it needs to learn.
The best kind of national infrastructure is faith based, that is to say honoring and valuing that which is unseen. We the People believe it is there to sustain us without feeling confined by it. The lives we know and cherish, the freedoms we have so arrogantly come to complacently expect, is transforming. What will it be like, I wonder, and how long will we have to wait until the dust settles?
Nov 23, 2008
Balance the Drawer
I paid $1.75 the other day for gas and happily idled for 20 minutes for an available pump. How sad is that? The year I got the keys, a quick look under the seats and floormats usually scrounged up enough money for a few gallons of gas. Gas was about .40/gal, a little less than the two Jack in the Box taco deal that was offered until midnight.
My first job, other than cleaning my grandmother's house on Saturday mornings and babysitting, was at the Donut Wheel. The cinderblock building sat all by itself in a field with a short gravel parking area on a busy street. People coming in had to hurry off the road and screech and slide to a halt. But they did because John made the best donuts in town, an assortment of cake and raised donuts for $1.50 a dozen.
The Donut Wheel was pretty banged up and had field mice in the back. A friend from school literally handed me her job by telling me to show up. I worked alongside a great friend, Carol, and earned $1.60 an hour which seemed like a deal at the time. The hours were 6-11:30 am on Sat/Sun, which left time for a social life and practice.
I became very fond of the regular customers and especially of the crusty, philosophical donut chef John who taught me how to balance the drawer. He'd show how to use the fryer, flipper and glazer when it was slow. On Sundays, Carol and I would ride home on our bikes, singing show tunes and balancing leftover boxes of donuts on the handlebars for my mother's office.
It's been almost 40 years since we sat together at the speckled formica counter talking about life and the real joy you get from working hard, no matter what you do. The kids today wouldn't look for work at someplace like the Donut Wheel. What a chance they'd miss by not seeing John flip 36 perfectly shaped donuts in three turns of the wrist. He was a man in balance, to be sure.
My first job, other than cleaning my grandmother's house on Saturday mornings and babysitting, was at the Donut Wheel. The cinderblock building sat all by itself in a field with a short gravel parking area on a busy street. People coming in had to hurry off the road and screech and slide to a halt. But they did because John made the best donuts in town, an assortment of cake and raised donuts for $1.50 a dozen.
The Donut Wheel was pretty banged up and had field mice in the back. A friend from school literally handed me her job by telling me to show up. I worked alongside a great friend, Carol, and earned $1.60 an hour which seemed like a deal at the time. The hours were 6-11:30 am on Sat/Sun, which left time for a social life and practice.
I became very fond of the regular customers and especially of the crusty, philosophical donut chef John who taught me how to balance the drawer. He'd show how to use the fryer, flipper and glazer when it was slow. On Sundays, Carol and I would ride home on our bikes, singing show tunes and balancing leftover boxes of donuts on the handlebars for my mother's office.
It's been almost 40 years since we sat together at the speckled formica counter talking about life and the real joy you get from working hard, no matter what you do. The kids today wouldn't look for work at someplace like the Donut Wheel. What a chance they'd miss by not seeing John flip 36 perfectly shaped donuts in three turns of the wrist. He was a man in balance, to be sure.
Nov 14, 2008
Four Thousand Pennies
I did that dinner thing with my friends from college last week. I had been romanticizing about how it would be to enjoy a treat night of reminiscing. It turned out to be a reminder of the great distances we have travelled since we studied together in Fanjeaux Hall and gossiped over lunch in Caleruega.
One of us had lost a spouse, one recently lost a marriage, and the topic of the night was not light and carefree as I thought it would be. We talked instead about families in crisis and, although there wasn't much of the optimism and innocense of those early days when the chapters of our lives had not yet been written, that was okay, too.
I have a couple of nomadic girlfriends whom I adore. They boldly move wherever the wind takes them, across town or across the country. Both are single professionals who currently reside in Seattle and Reno. Reno is do-able on a weekend, so I drove on up to hang out, gamble away the $40 in my pocket, eat lunch and laugh. It sure felt like she was circling around looking for somewhere to land. I envy the wanderlust spirit of change the way they do, but appreciate the roots that hold me fast.
The best part about these visits was re-discovering that we are no longer unmolded clay. We have cleared our lives of debris to live it richly and are rougher, softer, and sadder by its imprint. Spreading our wings and focusing on the experience is as fun as seeing the result. Now we know all of it matters.
Would we change any step of the journey if we could? Probably. I don't know anyone who wouldn't want to occasionally revisit a decision after learning how hard living with it would be. But doing that would run the risk of missing out on all the good and wonderful things it has brought. We are the lives we have lived, warts and all. To change any part of it would change us entirely.
One of us had lost a spouse, one recently lost a marriage, and the topic of the night was not light and carefree as I thought it would be. We talked instead about families in crisis and, although there wasn't much of the optimism and innocense of those early days when the chapters of our lives had not yet been written, that was okay, too.
I have a couple of nomadic girlfriends whom I adore. They boldly move wherever the wind takes them, across town or across the country. Both are single professionals who currently reside in Seattle and Reno. Reno is do-able on a weekend, so I drove on up to hang out, gamble away the $40 in my pocket, eat lunch and laugh. It sure felt like she was circling around looking for somewhere to land. I envy the wanderlust spirit of change the way they do, but appreciate the roots that hold me fast.
The best part about these visits was re-discovering that we are no longer unmolded clay. We have cleared our lives of debris to live it richly and are rougher, softer, and sadder by its imprint. Spreading our wings and focusing on the experience is as fun as seeing the result. Now we know all of it matters.
Would we change any step of the journey if we could? Probably. I don't know anyone who wouldn't want to occasionally revisit a decision after learning how hard living with it would be. But doing that would run the risk of missing out on all the good and wonderful things it has brought. We are the lives we have lived, warts and all. To change any part of it would change us entirely.
Nov 13, 2008
The Alldredge Girls
Three traveling companions met for the first time in a hotel lobby in Philly the week before Christmas. They had been given each other's numbers because they were reluctant to travel alone in West Virginia in the dark and wanted to share a car. They came from all over the world.
They had no idea what to expect from the experience or each other, certainly not friendship. Their paths would never have crossed at all except for their sons entering the same rehab program at the same time.
Germany was early, nervous, and turned out to be a refined and insightful artist and scholar with a well developed sense of humor. She carried a neatly packed, organized suitcase and tote. She had the confidence in her step of having been down this road longer than the others. She brought the courage, the perspective.
California arrived in tennies, jeans and a Disneyland sweatshirt, the novice, afraid and wondering more about how it would play out with her ex than with the counseling sessions for her son. She brought the maps, the compassion, and an open heart.
Colorado breezed in last, with hair piled high on her head, dragging a suitcase, travel snacks and wearing boots, jeans, a long sleeve sweater and a down vest with gloves dangling out of the pocket. She was a jumble of spiritual, nurturing love with a whole face smile. She brought the confidence and car keys.
They listened and talked and laughed and cried on that six and a half hour drive, which included two detours and one rest stop talking to a man without front teeth. And together they literally and spiritually found their way. Now, three years later, the Alldredge Girls are still at it, talking about heady stuff like being who they are meant to be. They are each other's linchpin to the world they shared in those snowy months in a remote part of West Virginia. They have earned a place at the Thanksgiving table and their boys are in each other's prayers.
People say a crisis binds people together, and it did during those long, emotional days and weeks and months when the boys captured center stage. But philosophically, the real glue has been their shared belief that the journey never ends and when they falter, it is their Alldredge sister who will always be there to pick up the phone.
They had no idea what to expect from the experience or each other, certainly not friendship. Their paths would never have crossed at all except for their sons entering the same rehab program at the same time.
Germany was early, nervous, and turned out to be a refined and insightful artist and scholar with a well developed sense of humor. She carried a neatly packed, organized suitcase and tote. She had the confidence in her step of having been down this road longer than the others. She brought the courage, the perspective.
California arrived in tennies, jeans and a Disneyland sweatshirt, the novice, afraid and wondering more about how it would play out with her ex than with the counseling sessions for her son. She brought the maps, the compassion, and an open heart.
Colorado breezed in last, with hair piled high on her head, dragging a suitcase, travel snacks and wearing boots, jeans, a long sleeve sweater and a down vest with gloves dangling out of the pocket. She was a jumble of spiritual, nurturing love with a whole face smile. She brought the confidence and car keys.
They listened and talked and laughed and cried on that six and a half hour drive, which included two detours and one rest stop talking to a man without front teeth. And together they literally and spiritually found their way. Now, three years later, the Alldredge Girls are still at it, talking about heady stuff like being who they are meant to be. They are each other's linchpin to the world they shared in those snowy months in a remote part of West Virginia. They have earned a place at the Thanksgiving table and their boys are in each other's prayers.
People say a crisis binds people together, and it did during those long, emotional days and weeks and months when the boys captured center stage. But philosophically, the real glue has been their shared belief that the journey never ends and when they falter, it is their Alldredge sister who will always be there to pick up the phone.
Nov 12, 2008
Change-a-Comin'
Love is in the air and you know what that means ... change!
We knew our granddaughter Morgan was engaged but yesterday we learned her sister just got engaged. It looks like an exciting 2009! My brother and his wife return today from their Caribbean honeymoon and we had our first yard sale as partners.
It's hard to separate out things we don't need -- duplicate appliances and stuff we've dragged along through life that won't fit in the new plan. Like on TV, we had to decide which stuff to store, or display, or sell or donate. It's surprisingly hard to look at our lives that way after so many years, and I am currently better at the game of detatchment than he is, but we're getting there.
After several weeks of spot-targeting, there was enough for a garage sale. I made cute little signs which were totally unnecessary because we're on a major street and the minute you put a sofa and table on the driveway, everyone stops. He told me that: I didn't listen.
Yard sale day was a kick. One funny, spunky lady really got into it and sold stuff for us to a spanish speaking family. An older guy hung around a while and negotiated a better price on the sofa than the deal I had made. When they left, the sofa guy's wife gave each of us a homemade mexican pastry that was out of this world. In the end we emptied some of the storage unit and garage and have over $300 in the new sofa fund.
Our favorite neighbors were our best customers - isn't that always the way? But I'm sure they will probably make it back the next time we play Tripoley together. Another neighbor bartered with something we wanted for something we had. That was funny, as was the lady from down the block who came by just to tell us she loved the yard.
We had put an up-for-grabs list out to the kids beforehand, and Morgan and Jason came by to keep us company. They came knowing their apartment was full and left with glassware, dishware, a barber pole, a big old box of baseball cards and a full belly. That's just how it works at yard sales - you can't leave empty handed, especially when it's free.
It was the first time any of Randy's family had been here since the transition of households began, and I watched her look around, taking it all in. I know, honey, it's different than it was, and she said, but now the house has you in it and that's good. I just love that girl!
Yesterday, too, my sons got together and moved the last of furniture out of the house in Elk Grove and parceled out tools. We're hosting Thanksgiving for the Fassio Bros. and our eldest son has invited his girlfriend's family to join us. How very interesting! Who knows: maybe there's more change-a-comin'.
We knew our granddaughter Morgan was engaged but yesterday we learned her sister just got engaged. It looks like an exciting 2009! My brother and his wife return today from their Caribbean honeymoon and we had our first yard sale as partners.
It's hard to separate out things we don't need -- duplicate appliances and stuff we've dragged along through life that won't fit in the new plan. Like on TV, we had to decide which stuff to store, or display, or sell or donate. It's surprisingly hard to look at our lives that way after so many years, and I am currently better at the game of detatchment than he is, but we're getting there.
After several weeks of spot-targeting, there was enough for a garage sale. I made cute little signs which were totally unnecessary because we're on a major street and the minute you put a sofa and table on the driveway, everyone stops. He told me that: I didn't listen.
Yard sale day was a kick. One funny, spunky lady really got into it and sold stuff for us to a spanish speaking family. An older guy hung around a while and negotiated a better price on the sofa than the deal I had made. When they left, the sofa guy's wife gave each of us a homemade mexican pastry that was out of this world. In the end we emptied some of the storage unit and garage and have over $300 in the new sofa fund.
Our favorite neighbors were our best customers - isn't that always the way? But I'm sure they will probably make it back the next time we play Tripoley together. Another neighbor bartered with something we wanted for something we had. That was funny, as was the lady from down the block who came by just to tell us she loved the yard.
We had put an up-for-grabs list out to the kids beforehand, and Morgan and Jason came by to keep us company. They came knowing their apartment was full and left with glassware, dishware, a barber pole, a big old box of baseball cards and a full belly. That's just how it works at yard sales - you can't leave empty handed, especially when it's free.
It was the first time any of Randy's family had been here since the transition of households began, and I watched her look around, taking it all in. I know, honey, it's different than it was, and she said, but now the house has you in it and that's good. I just love that girl!
Yesterday, too, my sons got together and moved the last of furniture out of the house in Elk Grove and parceled out tools. We're hosting Thanksgiving for the Fassio Bros. and our eldest son has invited his girlfriend's family to join us. How very interesting! Who knows: maybe there's more change-a-comin'.
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